A friend liked yesterday's post about staying open for new ways to worry. She called what I wrote "sarcastic" but I was actually writing about deliberately looking at what makes a person worry.
I think when I worry that my team won't make it to the finals, I am usually hoping they do make it. In other words, I think my worries are often related to my desires. If I have already placed too much money in a bet on my team, I may fear a negative result and its consequences. Being in severe poverty, or caught in illegal gambling or having my reputation damaged by friends or the public knowing I made such a bet, that I engage in such activities - all might be too dreadful to think about.
If things do take a bad turn and I have loss or pain, I can try to buck up and be brave. There are indeed times when the dark side is discovered to have more light than I imagined it would. Or, I can hold a "pity party" for myself and genuinely and deliberately try to stay very focused on the negative, the boring, the costly mess that I myself, or nasty fate, or a rotten scoundrel, or the government has let fall on me. Many highly competent people will try simply keeping a stiff upper lip, soldiering on, marching forward.
But part of me might disagree with attempts to be brave. Sometimes, I just can't lift myself by my bootstraps. At those times, I may need some mothering or some sistering. If Mom and Sister are not available or I don't want them to be, I may have to nurture myself. I may have to listen to myself carefully and fully. I may need to give myself some sort of a treat. At the least, I may need to extend sympathy and tenderness toward myself.
After that, it might be time for a plan. Pencil, paper and thinking: when, who, how? Once I have a sort of direction, I will develop some enthusiasm. I will have more momentum, more energy. I don't need to do everything at once but if I can see which way to go, if I can see some progress, even a little toward a next step or a new phase, I'll be renewed.
--
Bill
Main blog: Fear, Fun and Filoz
Main web site: Kirbyvariety
