Thursday, October 13, 2011

goal vs. feelings

We have a truce with each other and we do love each other but Good Grief!  When will (men, women) ever open their eyes?  There are other things in the world besides (sports, relatives)!  It rather seems as though they just can't see the (goal, feelings) involved.  Why can't they understand that (the goal is what we are aiming for and our purpose, feelings of fear or jealousy or superiority or hopelessness can always undermine absolutely any activity)?  Why are they always so fixated on (irrelevancies, the stupid, arbitrary, temporary "finish" line)?  If they would just see things our way once, they would see that (happiness comes from winning, winning is produced by happiness)?

Since half of my ancestors were women, I feel as though I can see both sides of the issue.  It is clear that any goal has a better chance of being reached if focus is kept on that goal, if progress toward goal is noted or measured and if effort is paid toward reaching it.  It is clear that none of us can do everything and neither can all of us.  But it is also clear that cheers, songs, pledges, and feelings of desire and of loyal commitment matter, along with many other feelings that may not related to goal achievement.  Sorry, fellas, but good cheer, optimism and hopefulness also help, even though feeling them, much less showing them, can seem weak and vulnerable.

I was impressed the other day when two different highly intelligent men made the same gesture when women in their presence said something deeply felt by the women but not by the men.  They both rolled their eyes and looked exasperated.  I am pretty sure that women feel exasperated by men at least as often as the reverse.

Sometimes one hears the Rodney King question: why can't we all just get along?  There are multiple answers but one of them is that each group wants to play their game their way and nothing else.  So far, we humans have staggered along in almost separate lines, with some of each group understanding and using the other group's approach but not many.

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