Is the source of many of our problems our desires, our wants, our goals? Many people in the world think the answer is yes but try living without any wants or goals. It's boring and dull. As the eye sees and the heart beats, the mind forms plans. Sure, pining after that lover when there is clearly no reciprocation, like beating your head against the wall, feels best when you stop. Everything changes, as the Buddhists and Jonathan Tropper say, including our desires. Further, habituation sets in and the wonderful new computer, new dental hygienist, tv show, etc. pale over time and no longer give us pleasure.
It's natural to make a promise to myself that I will give up wanting. No more wanting for me! I have learned to see through ads and come-ons. I realize that "my" team is made of guys from elsewhere. No more disappointments from unfulfilled enthusiasm. I'm just going to take life as it comes, accept it all. I admit that there are times when I am not sure what I want. I often have to guess from my recent behavior what I like. When I find I get a reward for doing something, just like some research subjects, I infer that I must not REALLY like doing that or why would I get a reward? As the James-Lange approach to emotions holds, sometimes I find myself laughing and I quickly infer that I am enjoying myself. You know, like the undergrad who knows he had a great weekend because he downed so many beers.
I know it is going to be hard to give my goals of losing weight, saving money, being mindful and practicing the piano but I tell you, I am done with wanting and having unfulfilled dreams. No more New Year's resolutions for me. I want to be more accepting and I don't want to have a mission statement. I plan on having no plan. My goal from now on is to have no goal.
Bill
Main blog: Fear, Fun and Filoz
Main web site: Kirbyvariety
