Unfolding

Lynn heard about a book on National Public Radio.  It is called

"AARP Love and Meaning after 50: The 10 Challenges to Great Relationships—and How to Overcome Them" by Julia Mayer and her husband Barry Jacobs, both of whom are therapists. It is $11.99 on Kindle.

The idea of reading it together and checking out our marriage appealed to us and we are doing that.  

The book focuses on ten challenges that these two therapists have found in many cases:

CHALLENGE 1: The Empty Nest 

CHALLENGE 2: Extended Family 

CHALLENGE 3: Finances 

CHALLENGE 4: Infidelity 

CHALLENGE 5: Retirement

CHALLENGE 6: Downsizing and Relocating 

CHALLENGE 7: Sex 

CHALLENGE 8: Health Concerns 

CHALLENGE 9: Caregiving 

CHALLENGE 10: Loss of Loved Ones 

WHEN NOTHING WORKS: Cooperative Separation and Divorce

Mayer, Julia  . AARP Love and Meaning after 50 (pp. 4-5). Hachette Books. Kindle Edition.

 

A result of our exploration so far is that since our daughter is a grandmother and getting close to joining her husband in retirement, we, in our 80's, are way past empty nest problems.  We have already made plans for the handling of our bodies after death.  Another result is that we are in agreement that we are lucky to have each other and to have a long, reasonably happy partnership.  Both of us had quite a bit of experience dating others and we understand that we are both fortunate.  

It is clear to us that neither of us wants to lose the other and yet, we will at some point.  She has warned me against hanging on to life just to avoid leaving her alone.  We also realize that the odds and experience both indicate that often the guy dies first.  

Begin as a baby

I think it is interesting that I used to be a baby.  I bet if we dig into your past, we will find that you used to be a baby, too.  There is a Netflix program called "Babies".  The first part shows researchers trying to learn more about a baby's impulse to stand up and walk on just two feet.  Clearly, bipedalism matters in human life.  Hardly anyone moves only on all fours and anyone who did would be considered hurt, joking, maybe handicapped.  

Standing on just two feet and having our hands free to do ten thousand other things helps us do things we want to do.  The pride and the joy that toddlers show in the Babies program as they find they can indeed plant one foot out there and shift their weight to that foot, leaving the other foot free to do likewise brings joy to watchers and some tears to the eye.  

Last night, we moved to another program on Netflix called "The surgeon's cut".  The first episode is about a surgeon who lives in London.  He was born on Cyprus and is a pioneer thinker about various troubles that mothers carrying babies inside them can have.  Prof. Kypros Nicolaides is shown using a procedure he invented to help fetus twins.  Sometimes, the blood supply for the growing fetuses goes to the babies unevenly and one grows but the other fades.  Eventually, the lesser one dies and then the blood system can ship unhelpful bits to the healthy one and it can die, too.  

Nicolaides can perform surgery that separates the blood supplies so that both grow.  The program makes clear that the babies don't always survive but the operation, which has to be performed on the mother awake and without anesthesia, often helps one or both live.

The program ends with the information that Nicolaides has developed blood cancer and might not live much longer.  It also gives the viewer a chance to see and hear two 27 year old twin men who are alive because of his operation. 

Cartoons that stuck

 I got to thinking about what cartoons have stuck in my mind over the years.  I am not sure these are the only ones that have.  

When I use Google and search for "I'm getting on the train" cartoon, I see one result that shows a man climbing into a train passenger car, then the same guy midway thru the car, and finally the same guy exiting.  He is simply describing just what he is doing.  When a person joins a social media network, he or she can be transfixed by the possibility of steady publication of events and thoughts.  There are some services that will transmit a live signal so that a viewer can actually see me getting on the train, walking to an exit and actually getting off the train.  So cool!

My second memorable cartoon shows two Zen practitioners.  The older one is saying to the younger, "Nothing happens next.  This is it."  There is a rather popular book by Jenny O'Dell called "How to do nothing".  Us sophisticates - a.k.a. nerds - know that in one sense it is not possible to do nothing.  Lying dead on the floor, I am being dead, I am existing, I am a former living creature.  Still, not thinking, not cogitating, not pondering, just breathin' and bein' is valuable.  Visit a Quaker meeting and see for yourself.  

Thirdly, a New Yorker cartoon from years back shows a man calling through a cocktail party, "Honey, what do I have my PhD in?"  It has got to be nice to be educated and all.

Lynn remembered the one where the husband asks the wife,"Which one of us doesn't like salmon?"

Concerning books

I didn't get around to using Monday to think back over recent book ideas.  I like to open Libby, the book-borrowing app, and set it for non-fiction books that are currently available.  So, I let myself use today for books even though it is a Tuesday.  I am getting so that the first ten or twenty pages of books are either titles I have read or partially read or aren't of interest at this time.  

I can see that I don't pay enough attention to National Public Radio and to Wisconsin Public Radio.  I realize I don't have enough attention in me to pay attention to everything worthwhile and interesting.  I ran across "NPR's favorite history books of 2021" and read some of it.  https://www.npr.org › 2021 › 12 › 26 › 1068063578 › nprs-favorite-history-books-of-2021

EMIKO TAMAGAWA said she got something of value from Danielle Dreilinger's "The Secret History Of Home Economics".  Sounds good to me and I bought it in Kindle form.  I am reading "How to Raise an Elephant" to Lynn while she does jigsaw puzzles.  It's by Alexander McCall Smith, one of our longtime favorites and the creator of "The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency" series. We also bought AARP Love and Marriage After 50.  Lynn heard about it and we plan to read it.

I like to use the Libby app to borrow books of interest.  I give them a try and I check the price in Amazon.  I also just bought "Prison Nurse" by Ellen Kane, a book I started in the Libby app, which is faster to get into the reading than getting it in a Kindle reader.  The book seems pretty good and the price was right. 

My friend has vision problems and just told me to send Kindle books only since he can enlarge the print a great deal.  

Let there be light

Our kitchen has three different fluorescent lamps.  The ceiling one holds four tubes and gives good light.  But, over time, one of the two sets burned out.  I went to our local Lowe's after my son-in-law, the carpenter, removed the bad tubes.  At Lowe's, I got some guidance as to where they keep fluorescent bulbs. I looked at the specifications, such as they were, written near the end of one of the bad tubes and compared and compared.  Quite a few types had signs that said "Sold in full cartons only".  I didn't want to buy 10 and certainly not 20.  

My carpenter-guide said that I should replace all four tubes since the ones still working showed signs at the tube ends of blackening and would soon burn out.  The tubes I thought I wanted sold in sets of two.  I bought two sets for $21.06.  

The kitchen ceiling fixture is in the center of the room so we pushed the kitchen table aside and got two in-the-house stepladders.  Lynn and I climbed way up high in the kitchen altitudes but we could not get the tubes to engage.  Lynn got on the phone to our carpenter-guide.  Just like he did with our accordion blind, he came over, stepped on the stepladders and Plunk!  Plunk! (2) Both tubes immediately took their proper place. Now we have a well-lit kitchen.  My librarian-PhD wrote the bulb specs on a paper we have mounted on the inside of a kitchen cupboard door so we are going to be faster and more efficient in 12 years when we need to get new bulbs.

I can hear

I like to listen to music.  I have some CD's of Patti Page and Ella Fitzgerald but mostly I choose classical music.  One CD that I like is a Phillips disc called "Harp Concertos".  It was recorded in Monaco in 1973 and played by the harpist Catherine Michel.  As has been the case with other music, it is the 2nd part of the Boieldieu Concerto in C that strikes me as especially lovely and memorable.  Boieldieu is sometimes called, I learned today, the "French Mozart."  The 2nd part is called "andante lento", directions that can be translated "walking slowly".  Over time, that part got my attention more and more.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmDHoatdRHw

It is played by the harpist quite slowly at about a beat per second.  Slowly can be very attention getting.  I wouldn't want a beat a day but a beat per second is slow enough to contrast with many other sounds and rhythms and fast enough to stay in the attention.  The right rhythm is like a caress and very nice.

Both of us have had trouble with the volume of our computers.  They can't play loud enough at times.  Lynn gave me a pair of speakers to enhance the sound and they work very well. 

Damaged celebration

Hope you are having a good Christmas.  We are, over-all, but it has been bruised.  One of our teen-aged greatgranddaughters tested positive for covid the other day.  So, we did another gift-unwrapping by internet, as we have done before.  It is not as good but it may help.

Several sources say that the omicron variant is far better at spreading but seems less severe in most cases.  We'll see.  We have all been fully vaccinated and boosted so that's good.  We have gotten the idea that being vaccinated may lessen the severity of covid.  

https://www.visualcapitalist.com › worlds-deadliest-pandemics-by-population-impact:

In the mid-1300s, a plague known as the Black Death claimed the lives of roughly 200 million people —more than 50% of the global population at that time

I understand that if a person is ill, hearing about a worse case situation may be very little help.  But the figures I have seen say that covid deaths have not reached a million total worldwide, even though death is only one variable and something that affects you personally may be beyond numbers.

Hope it is a merry evening!

Gratitude for what you have!

Deep thanks for what you have accomplished!

Warm love!

A wish for better wishing

It is an old saying "Be careful what you wish for".  I think a main reason is merely that we have limited mental abilities and we simply can't think of all the likely and possible consequences of what we steer toward.  As bad, we may think of many likely results of our wishes, given the situation as we know it now.  Our wished-for goals may be fine "if the creek don't rise".  

We have striven for "equality" but as we do indeed get more equal, maybe it would be better for me if you get a higher rank in things than I have.  Take sex: my life might be heavenly if I were female.  Take height: my life might be peachy if I were double, no, make that 1.15% taller.  I can see the value and the fun and the lift from carrying a child but no, not for me.  Not permitted for MY sex.  I can see the value and the fun of being taller and more imposing but no, not for short guys.  

Well, for years, educators have sought greater equality and greater energy in students.  Of course, they were mainly thinking of better skills for the less skilled, not for less for the currently more skilled.  Growing up, I heard exhortations to be engaged with my community, state and nation and not to be blase, indifferent or bored.  

I am beginning to suspect that we look for the most likely thing to complain about and set to work changing that. 

Surprise

I have several thousand books, not counting the ones on our shelves. Don't expect me to remember each one.  

Mostly, I get several emails a day from Amazon about additional books I could buy in Kindle electronic format.  That is the sort of book which can pop up in a Kindle reader or a device with Kindle software within 5 minutes of ordering it without a sound.  The range of books is very good and so are the prices.  But my head is getting older and I often have to look at the listing on the Amazon site to see if I have a book I am interested in.  

I was accidentally scratched by the edge of a library card as a youngster and caught bibliomania.  Chomping at the bit for books, I was taken to the downtown branch of the Baltimore public library where I demonstrated that I could write my name.  They gave me a library card and I have spent plenty of time in libraries since then. 

I have spent good money on too many books without reading them so I limited myself to acquisition only on Mondays.  If I run into an interesting title, I can list it and make a decision next Monday about getting it.  One good tool for cutting down on book expenses is the app called Libby.  On Monday, I can set Libby on my iPad to show me what is available in non-fiction books.  The other day, I saw "Waking Up" by Sam Harris.  I borrowed it and read a bit here and there.  "Here and there" is my favorite method for getting a taste.  I liked the taste and borrowed the book.  

Kindle software tells me in multiple places how much of the book I have read.  It also collects notes I make of especially valuable sentences I find.  I noticed that the program did not say 0%.  I looked in the file of what I have purchased and found that I had purchased the book and read some of it in 2014.  It is really quite good and I am an even more discerning reader than I was 7 years ago.

Another second

I have never actually lived this day before - ever.  Sometimes, I come across statements like "winning the lottery changed my life forever."  I found out that every additional second literally changes my life forever - each one.  Until that second, I was never as old, I had never lived that long.  What is more, I had not experienced the contents of that particular second before.  I know my eyes and my brain haven't noticed much of interest in that second.  I know that the second looked to me like the second before and this second now.  

When the volcano up the hill blows, when my aging brain can't think of the name of that singer I always like, when I win another damned lottery, then I notice.  It is exciting or scary or comforting or boring but I notice.  See, my brain likes simple, short memorable pictures and descriptions.  You can show me the New York Public Library or even my local public library and tell me that more or less all the wisdom of current and previous people are in those books.  Well, these days, in those books and audiobooks and DVD's and related media.  I am fully capable of going into that building, looking around, fooling around, dabbling in this and sampling that.  Then, when I spot a book or an author that I always liked or a book or an author or an audiobook or a DVD that seems just what I need at the moment, I am fully capable of checking that item out and feeling like I now have the key to everything, that all my needs are being met at that very moment. 

Mid-day tomorrow

Many people like their life and want it to continue.  Part of the machinery and reflex that assists in that is the priority given to trouble and danger.  You may remember the famous Ferdinand, the Bull, the fighting bull who didn't like fighting.  He tended to enjoy flowers and their scent.  But even Ferdinand would pay attention to some dangers and problems.  

It is that time of year when our calendars kick over into a new year, one with a new number.  So, a new year? What do we want to do in it?  We want it to be good.  Giving some thought to dangers and problems, we can say that one thing we want is a good year during 2022.  Much of the impulse to think about a new year prompts us to consider the past year. But that is not really possible.  That last year had too many moments, seconds, days, weeks and events to think of them all.  Our memories are slanted to dangers and disappointments but even those are not all recorded.

Tomorrow at 11:59 CST, the moment of winter solstice happens.  We have been losing daylight and getting more night since June and it is time for that nonsense to stop.  From that moment, things will get brighter, in general, and earthly life will wake up.  It will take some months for us to regain our brightness level but we will.  See if you can tell by noon tomorrow.

Experiment a bit

I am always hearing from older people that they don't know this or that about computers.  I usually respond that nobody knows much. 

Somebody had an iPhone 6 and the updates got them thinking getting a new phone might be smart.  They were interested in maybe getting away from Apple and getting an Android phone.  But a saleswoman said that her customers seemed happier if they did not switch basic platforms.  Another Apple it was and now there is an iPhone 13.

Whether you get a new phone, or start a blog, or use a different type of connected device, if you can wade into a new arrangement, different machines from different companies can be challenging and frustrating.  However, it is often the case that trying a different program will indeed stretch one's picture of what is possible and what works quickly and easily with today's devices.  

It can help to keep in mind that how one uses a device for one purpose or another has generally been researched and experimented with.  Many school experiences require exhaustive reading but with a modern device, it can be faster and less trouble to just try pressing a few buttons and watch what happens.  I got a new computer for my office and it came up with a choice as to what language the computer should use in working with me.  I thought I always choose English (the only language I know pretty well).  Just this once, I will say I want the machine to communicate with me using Chinese.  It immediately switched to writing in Chinese characters.  Suddenly, I saw a problem: which choices and buttons need to be clicked on to get out of Chinese and into English?  I couldn't tell.  I went to our IT guys and took my machine.  Zip!  Back to English!   I now have satisfied my desire to try any other language.  I am in English and I am going to stay there.  

Commercial machines meant for purchase by all sorts of people are designed to try to be clear and somewhat simple, even when they are confusing and complex.  But trying a few things and then getting your favorite teen to try and fix problems can lead to a closer family life.

Let's fly!

From yesterday's Writer's Almanac:

On this day in 1903, Orville and Wilbur Wright had their first successful flight in Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. The brothers picked Kitty Hawk because it was full of sand dunes that would cushion crash landings and it had high winds to help get the plane off the ground. But living there was almost unbearable. They endured sandstorms, coastal rains, and swarms of insects during the day. And at night, the wind was so bad that the brothers had to get out and hold on to their tent to keep it from blowing away.

In 1900, Orville and Wilbur started out with a kite controlled from the ground, and later took turns manning it in the air. Their father forbade them from flying together, to ensure that one brother could continue the experiments in the event of a fatal crash. When Wilbur stepped into the controls in October, he was unprepared for the sensation of flying. The plane was unpredictable, he couldn't plan out his moves, and he relied purely on instinct to adjust the plane up and down. Within a few moments, he overcompensated, nearly flipped the glider over and shouted to his brother, "Let me down!" Suffering months of spin-outs, broken struts, blackened eyes, and crash landings, the brothers left Kitty Hawk early. On the train back, Wilbur told his brother, "Not within a thousand years will man ever fly."

I used to teach a unit in the 5th grade about human attempts to fly.  There is a fine account of the Wright Brothers struggle to build a flying machine written by historian David McCoullough but humans have envied birds for centuries and more.  I think that it is the exact shape of a plane wing that can generate lift if the airfoil moves through the air.  So, if a plane is to lift, it must move.  Our world is quite different with planes, including big planes, and places called "airports".  Now we have helicopters, too.

Take one to improve

I have read Jo Marchant's "Cure" and Anne Harrington's "The Cure Within". Both get into the subject of "placebos" and "nocebos", the subject that is sometimes referred to as "mind-body" medicine.  There are several posts in this blog that refer to placebos, often described as "inert medicines" or pills that supposedly are not medicine but are described as such or given as such and can still have a positive effect.

https://fearfunandfiloz.blogspot.com/search?q=placebo

There are many experiments where a doctor gives me some sort of sugar pill but tells me the pill is a powerful medicine.  Later, I am better off physically.  This kind of thing can happen even when the doctor tells me that a) the pill is inert and contains no special medicine but b) it will make me better. 

A woman I know sometimes has trouble falling asleep or staying asleep for long enough or returning to sleep when she has awakened.  She knows I am interested in the subject and have purchased openly labeled placebo pills from Amazon.  They are blue and white capsules that are empty.  Since she is tired of having sleep troubles, she wisely took some of those capsules and is taking them when needed.  She reports they seem to have helped.

Yesterday was foggy

We are used to temperatures like 20°F during this part of the year. So, we expect some trouble when they climb to 56° F.  Temperature differences cause storms of various kinds and the more extreme, the more trouble we expect.  We didn't have too much trouble but we did have fog.  The thickest fog I have experienced.  I did drive about 12 miles in the fog.

I found that I could barely see beyond my headlights.  It wasn't absolutely necessary that I drive and I was invited to re-plan several times.  But I actually had no trouble.  The headlights of other cars were a big help in seeing an on-coming vehicle.  I avoided the superhighway since I was pretty sure I would outrun my headlights.

The heavy fog really eats up the snow cover. We have little snow drifts and piles scattered around but the mass of the snow, probably an average depth of about 6 inches, is pretty well gone.  People, animals and plants can all get bored or overly used to routine but we expect certain temperatures in winter and we are adjusted to life at those temperatures.  

The local university has a whole college devoted to the study of water, soil and animal life so I hear and see plenty about climate change and warming.  Yesterday was the most severe example of temperature and its effects as well as human habits of transportation I have experienced.

Phone updates

I think it is quite surprising what communication can do.  I can entertain, create and send documents, pictures, videos.  I can explore subjects.  As far as I am concerned, there can be too much communication.   When I am trying to think about something, I don't want conversation, notifications, ringing bells or flashing lights trying to tell me something or alert me.  I realize the latest message might be very important but I reserve the right to attend to it if and when I want to and not before.  

As a modern citizen, I enjoy thinking about a topic and I don't want to be interrupted or asked questions during thinking time.  Between keeping devices and programs I want to have charged up and up-to-date and getting other things of importance done, I have limited time, interest and energy for devices, games and similar peripherals. Over the last couple of days, our Apple devices got an update.

You may be aware of the difference between "update" and "upgrade".  Devices can be irritatingly changed for security or enhanced performance just because a new configuration seems a good idea. I don't know much about the mechanics of updates but it is sometimes the case that engineers need quite a bit of space to have a strong chance of properly removing.  The new software may need only x amount of storage space but the transition may need two or three times that space temporarily.  

It is possible to remove games and apps temporarily, remove outdated software, install the update and replace games and apps that deserve being put back.  Getting all that done can take time and may include mistakes that later need correcting.  Getting a cellphone update showed us that it is time to get a new phone.  So, don't be surprised if we sound ever so much better on phone calls.  Looking into versions and models, we read that after a few years, we are using Stone Age equipment.  We are hurrying to improve.

The same process

I read Google News (news.google.com) every day.  Part of the site is devoted to fake news, rumors, untruths and questionable statements.  I am impressed at all the outlandish ideas that Snopes and other anti-fakes deal with.  If I get vaccinated, will I sprout wings?  Did Biden make a rule that all newborns must be registered as Communists?

Then, I realized that imaginative and often outlandish ideas and speculations are exactly what scientists use when evaluating research results and trying to solve problems.  Maybe you have heard of Giordano Bruno, burned alive at the stake in 1600 as a stubborn heretic who held and espoused beliefs not acceptable at the time.  Or, maybe you have heard the story of Ignaz Semmelweis, a Hungarian-German who did some observing and some analysis and began advocating that physicians wash their hands after examining and working with corpses and before working with women about to deliver babies.  It did turn out that better sanitation dropped the death rate from childbed fever but that was in spite of indignant physicians stating that of course they didn't transmit disease - they were doctors!

Human life and human bodies as well as human imagination are complex.  It takes us time to evaluate an idea or an action and decide if it is an asset. 

Carried away

I have a CD of Mozart's Symphony No. 5 in B-Flat Major, K 22.  Quite near the beginning, in the recording by the Academy of St. Martin-in-the-Fields, there is a lovely part of horns, trumpets and French horns, that takes over my attention whenever I hear it.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRUteX9Tdwo  The part that does it to me is at about 32 minutes and 14 seconds.  If you want, you can use the slider to get to that point.  If you listen from the beginning, you will forget to pay attention unless, like me, that passage suddenly grabs your focus.  

There are several recordings of his Symphony No. 5 available on YouTube but several of them play the key section on violins or other instruments.  The transporting effect of the horns is so much better, in my view, that I am surprised experienced musicians would play anything else.  Whenever I hear that passage by the horns, I feel as though I am immersed in roses and angels for a second. 

I know that people think of Google or Bing or Duckduckgo for searching but I recommend also checking right in YouTube for things you are after, especially sounds and sights.  I suspect that people sometimes have a reluctance to use search windows and type in a term but search can be very, very helpful.

Thinking about this music and its effect, I read a little about it.  Mozart composed the piece I am mentioning here when he was NINE years old!

When I was nine years old, I didn't do anything like that. I also saw some clips from the movie "Amadeus" (1984).  If you haven't seen it, you might want to look at it.  It is quite memorable for several reasons.  A professor of music said he considered Mozart the greatest composer ever. 

Celebrating becoming a teen

I was a teen once.  It may be a bigger deal for a girl to become a teen than a boy.  Still, there is a great deal about parents and who they were and who they are that a newly-minted teen simply can't know.  There is too much, not even counting the bits that have been left out.  See the comic "Dustin" for today:

https://comicskingdom.com/dustin

Parenthetically, I never understood that nagging that often comes when the 2nd or 3rd graders see that he likes her.  Why nagging?  What, are you afraid to be liked?  Jealous?  Expecting rejection?  Affection and the source of newly generated babies is a big deal, for every one of us, the source of each of us!

We celebrated a young teen becoming the age to qualify for the teen label last night.  Part of the celebration was the family playing the trivia card game "Millennials vs. Boomers".  There were plenty of moments when the children had a chance to be astonished at what the parents remembered from their early years and what siblings and parents revealed about affection and fandom and who liked what singers and actors.  

Were you once entranced by the pelvis or voice of Mr. Presley?  Did you thrill to the voice of Patti Page or Peggy Lee?  Did you like Randolph Scott or Tim Holt?  I always thought Ann Blythe was lovely.  How about you?  [She is reported to be 93 years old now.]

Feel all my feelings

A common piece of advice to have a full life is "Feel all your feelings."  I don't think I have dealt with people much who don't do that but it seems to be a good thing to try steadily.  The book by van der Volk "The Body Keeps the Score" deals with several sorts of trauma and emotional shock.  

It was our weather this morning that got me thinking about this subject.  It was snowing fairly heavily and there was variable wind.

There was a forecast of new, rather deep snow.  The roads around here are kept well but it takes a while for snowplows to get things opened up.  If the snow is too deep and comes down too fast, we may have to stay home for some time.

I wasn't feeling too good about that but I remember Prof. Lisa Barrett's reminder: I am not trapped by my emotions.  Part of me is creating them.  I am also impressed with Erenreich's "Bright Sided", which is about the same thing as recent articles on toxic positivity.  I am not naturally a super positive, bubbly sort of person so it suits me to taste a little bleakness, a little somber cold and isolation.  But then on to other thinking.  For instance, I try to check each morning and each afternoon and each night for goodness, joy and love.  Is this a time that I am going to remember fondly?  Is this a good moment?

I was doing well and then the sun came out, the snow stopped and the sky cleared.

Pretty good deal!

Reading from Pocket

Just got a phone call from a delicious woman of high intelligence that I have been married to for more than 60 years.  She called to let me know that Prof. Michael Pollan, author of several books we have read, is on Wisconsin Public Radio.  We particularly enjoyed his book "How to Change Your Mind", full of truly beautiful and moving language about psychedelics and their potential.  This notification from my wife is a good example of a modern problem: more good stuff than one has time, energy and funds for.

Despite what a person might feel, there is only one of each of us humans.  We can enjoy the company of another but there are limits to our hours awake, our ability to concentrate, even our ability to enjoy.  I received an email earlier today "The Best of Pocket 2021" and I decided to write about the article, the Pocket service and the general supply of writers and online sources.  

You probably know the name of Tim Berners-Lee.  He is often cited as the inventor of the World Wide Web.  Darpa, an agency of the US department of defense, and some scientists had computers connected, for the purpose of rapid exchange of information.  I just saw the date 1989 cited as the year that Berners-Lee and others saw the possibility of a worldwide network of computers using specialized addresses to find and exchange files with each other.  Things developed to the point that many people have their own locations on the World Wide Web, usually called "websites."

I see estimates that 80% of the current human population can read.  Of course, as methods of communication have broadened and improved, speech sounds and pictures have been included in what sorts of communication can be transmitted by computer.  And, don't forget: smartphones and tablets like the iPad and its cousins are important tools of communication today.  I just read that a bit more than 50% of internet traffic comes from phones.  

I saw a note a few years ago that many youth in China aspire to be "influencers", that is, people who appear on computers to talk nicely and recommend their choice of the right clothing, books, foods, etc.  Many people graduate from school with a desire to write their thoughts, ideas and experiences.  The Pocket service, currently part of the Firefox browser, one of several competing tools to enable visiting sites on the World Wide Web, collects articles and enables Firefox users to learn about them and read them if desired.  

https://blog.mozilla.org/en/products/pocket/pocket-best-of-2021/

Watch her

I have gotten both facts and feelings from the book "Incognito", one of many good books about the unconscious parts of our minds.  That is true to such an extent that I was attracted to work by  Prof. Lisa Feldman Barrett.  She has a TED talk https://duckduckgo.com/?t=ffab&q=ted+talk+by+lisa+feldman+barrett that is excellent but it might not be accepted by some viewers.  Her title explains the idea: "You are not at the mercy of your emotions - your brain creates them".  It is quite worthwhile watching her talk and watching again in a few days.  There are other good books that explain facts about our unconscious minds, such at these

https://sites.google.com/view/kirbyvariety1/books-about-the-unconscious

Incidentally, I like the title of John Bargh's book, "Before You Know It".  I was standing in the kitchen, deciding which food on the shelf I wanted to eat when I realized I had walked into the kitchen and started looking at foods without realizing what I was doing.  I thought of that title.

Prof. Barrett has a book called "Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain" and it really cuts to the chase.  The first section is the "half-lesson" and it is titled "Your brain is not for thinking."  Really?  What's it for, then?  For controlling breath, appetite, heartbeat, blood pressure and lots of other things you can't control and don't notice.  I am a fan of TED talks.  They are free, short and excellent.

I was quite confident I had seen a TED talk by Prof. Barrett about the 7 and a half lessons but when I checked the TED talk website, I couldn't find it.  I decided to check YouTube.  Yep!  There it is, along with many other videos by Barrett.  

I read a few years ago about the development of software to make posting and viewing video by connected devices possible and the creation of YouTube.  I asked "How many videos are on YouTube?"  It is not easy to find a clearcut answer.  There are many quotes of the number of videos uploaded per minute (about 300) and many other statistics related to people and videos.  I found the number "149 billion".  Given that there are about 8 billion people on the earth at this time, that comes to about 18.6 videos per person.  I better get busy!

Nine deer

At breakfast, Lynn called out there was a deer in our yard.  Sometimes, deer walk among the trees between our house and the one behind the trees in the picture.  With the shadows and logs and branches, it can be surprisingly difficult to see a deer.  After we stared a while, we made out a deer standing there in the trees.  Then, we realized that we could out a smaller, younger deer, too.  Mom made a decisive move to run off and suddenly, the younger one and seven other deer joined her in a ragged line as they ran the property line between our house and the next one to the left.  Quite a little stampede as all nine of them took off.

Broadening

I had a doctor's appointment this morning.  Driving over to the local hospital gave me a chance to see society in action.  As we approach a new year, people tend to think back over the past one.  Since we have adopted face masks, social distancing, gotten into arguments about viruses and their presence, it is easy to overlook how much of life continues to click along and expand even.  Yes, at the door to the building, I got shot in the head with a laser beam assessing my body temperature and I had to answer questions about the sickness symptoms I might have.  Then, I got slapped with a visitor label.  

At the reception desk in the dermatology department, I found four people waiting.  It turned out that one person of each pair was there for a medical reason and each had someone with them.  I think the first couple must have just left the meeting with the doctor and it seemed that it was not easy to find an acceptable date for the next appointment.  Between five and ten minutes must have gone into talking back and forth about a date that could serve.  Eventually, that couple had completed their business and left.  I was surprised that the next couple, an older woman and a young woman, clearly the mother of the two quite young girls hanging about, sitting, running over to Mom, etc.  The two women soon showed their relation: a patient and a translator.  The older woman was elegantly dressed and used a tablet to make notes, while translating the receptionist's questions and comments.  Often, the mother could clearly tell what was being said and how she wanted to respond before the translator had finished talking.  I never did hear the talk clearly enough to learn what language was being spoken and translated.  

My turn went quickly and almost as soon as I sat down, I was called by a nurse.  She took me to an exam room and asked me to sit. The nurse made a little small talk telling me she has a small farm and is always up early to tend to her cows.  She said in the spring she will do her usual thing and get other animals, including sheep and turkeys. Wisconsin is a highly agricultural state and our city is surrounded by farms.

A language professor recently told me that the doctor's name meant "deaf" in another language.  I mentioned that to the nurse who hadn't heard the idea.  Soon, after the doctor came and said that her grandfather had tired of hearing his name mispronounced and altered it a little bit.  It used to be a word that meant a kind of bird.  I knew the doctor was new to the community and she said people rarely brought the subject up.  She was definitely the shapeliest physician I have ever dealt with.  When she finished, she said she would "grab some samples of skin products I could use.  I told that she had to be less than 30 years of age.  My rule is that people under 30 are always "grabbing" things while older people just get them.  She said she was happy to be thought younger than 30.

I was impressed that one little trip could involve so many people and subjects.  Don't underestimate the richness of life in a small city these days.

It just came to mind

It pays to sit quietly for a few moments.  Five minutes will do nicely.  During those minutes, it helps to just look at something stationary. As Karen Maezen Miller put it, just look at a wall.  Pick a nice wall and look at it.  You may think there is nothing to see there but as you look, you will be surprised.  A crack, the woodwork border, the light from the window, a flash from the sun on a passing car - interesting how much is going on.  

As suggested somewhere in the book, "Buddhist Practice on Western Ground" by Harvey Aronson, it can be helpful if you have a pencil and paper handy.  You can note down anything that really jolts you, comes to mind with force and grabs your attention.  Sitting that way in a comfortable position for a few minutes a day can increase the knowledge you have about yourself.  If you are really worried about something or someone, the worry will probably come to mind.  You can jot down the issue or person, just so you know what came up.

Since it is getting into the Christmas season, you might start wishing for something fabulous, for yourself or others.  If your head works like mine does, you can picture getting or giving a gift that just knocks the socks off.  It is when you get to that point that you are entering fantasy land.  Sometimes, you really hit the target and transport your loved one with the gift, its rarity, its usefulness, its unexpectedness.  I hope you get a very great idea, that you don't run into scarcity or supply chain issues and you do think of something excellent.  It doesn't really have to knock socks off.  It could be heart-warming, pleasantly satisfying, surprising but enticing and interesting

pictures and writing

CNN's Pictures of this week:

https://www.cnn.com/2021/12/02/world/gallery/photos-this-week-november-26-december-2/index.html

Also, writing:

I am impressed with what writing can do.  If you can write or type or print and you can read what was written later, you can bridge a week or several lifetimes or several centuries.  The book by Tom Wheeler "Gutenburg to Google" helps see the power of writing.  Reading the very well put-together book "Einstein for Beginners" by Joseph Schwartz, I came across the word "hierglyphics".  The book said that the word means "priests writing".  That alerted me to writing.  I found a Kindle book, "Hiero" for free with Prime by the ancient Greek Xenophon that is a discussion between a common citizen and the tyrant of the city concerning the pros and cons of life as the ruler.  I get a kick out of the sophisticated points made and I think they apply to high-level rulers today, too.

Aiming for a clear view

It is true that I often don't recognize something good until I have experienced it and then no longer can.  The book by Tara Brach has a nice title: "Radical Acceptance".  It is radical, unusual, to accept what comes.  I have been toying with the notion that we actually live in wonderful times.  No doubt, if I suffer a catastrophe, I won't think so, at least for a while.  I will be moaning and groaning about the difficulty of life and the nastiness of some angle of it.  

Still, when some unhappy person, real or fictional, says, "It can't get any worse", I see a red flag.  Give us a second and we will probably show you something you are enjoying or benefitting from, that you haven't noticed.  When you lose that something, access to that something, you will probably feel deprived, downhearted, unlucky and unfairly dealt with.  

If you can write, you already have an advantage.  Get a pencil and make a list of what bugs you.  Then, try a list of treasures and pleasures you have.  Got a tv?  Computer?  Bathroom?   Running water?  Electricity?  Car?  License?  How about a liver?  Lungs?   Heart?  Heartbeat?  See?  That is already eleven items!  Don't forget: today is 12/4/2021. Those digits add up to 12.  Think of one more good thing you have to make this your lucky day.  Sure, you are bugged about your tax bill, the rising cost of popcorn, the lack of birds at your feeder, the way China is behaving.  We are biologically built to notice downsides.  We are Americanly built to complain, demand, seek perfection.  

Perfection might be having many good things but also having some serious complaints.  If you are over fifty, you have some good experiences and some achievements already.  I am not advocating being bewitched by the memories, but they do at least deserve a nod.  Did you get a diploma?  Have you been blessed ?  Did you have a parent who thought you were a fabulous gift to humanity? If you aren't over fifty, you are headed for some wonderful years ahead.  Plus, you have a very good one here and now.

Many good tools

Friends tell me that Google will sell my name and "contact information", resulting in a deluge and a half of unwanted messages, notifications and offers.  That may be happening but so far, it isn't too bad.  I read just today of a politician trying to amass a treasure chest to pay for publicity whose campaign made more money selling contact information gleaned from donors than in direct donations.  I don't know enough about modern computers and internet communications to know why the big companies and small ones all want me to use their browser, the program that takes me browsing around the internet.  I have Microsoft's Edge, Mozilla's Firefox, Opera and Vivaldi on my computer. I rarely use Google's Chrome.  I do use Chrome once in a while.

I have heard of Duckduckgo for searching the internet and finding web addresses, a.k.a. URL's (universal resource locator).  So, I told my go-to browser, Firefox, to use Duckduckgo for searches.  More than 20 years ago, I used Lycos, the best internet searcher software I could find at the time.  Lately, with my browser set to use Duckduckgo, I have been finding that Google has a better design and better results.  That may be because I am used to the Google layout but I am finding more of what I want going to Google.com

My nephew has a degree in computing and when I say that he used Gmail, I did, too.  When you use Gmail, there is a handy "app launcher" on the web page that can lead you to the many, many Google products and services.

I have inserted a thin red line in the upper right corner of the image.  I urge exploration of the little 3x3 set of white dots.  There are many excellent tools there.