It is hard to believe that we have been married for 60 years. It will be a few more days before our anniversary and my careful, conservative wife said that she must wait through those days before she actually says how it has been hanging out with me for that long a time. Naturally, we have thought about how we got together several times and we know the story.
She was the first person I had ever met that has Finnish ancestry. Not only Finnish - also Swedish, Cuban/Spanish and Taino. I don't have any of those lines in my background although I now realize that all humans stem from an African line of development and so I am related to her. The connection is far enough back in time that we are ok as progenitors. We actually met as college freshmen but we didn't date until we were juniors.
At the time we met, I was still thinking about what group I came from and what that might mean for who and what I was. The same openness that makes her accurately say, joking or not, that it isn't actually 60 years yet has kept her open to new ideas and directions for both of us. I still cannot predict what she will do or say, so she stays fresh for me. She is not only original but quite intelligent. She is good at banter and at standing up for herself.
I suspect that the amount of experience we each had dating others helped us recognize each other as valuable partners.
When we were only in our twenties, 60 years would have seemed impossibly long, even to live, much less be married to each other. Now, the words and the number seem long, but the feeling is not ancient or wearied, but just beginning and delightful. At least right now, I think the single biggest help to a relationship is looking at what is going on in the present, what is currently felt and said.
