I think it is ok to die at any time. That matters since various forces and fates can hold me hostage to being alive. Some, I don't mind. I want to stay alive so I get out of the way of an approaching truck. But I try to train myself that if I make a mistake and fail to get out of the way, I don't want to hold mistakes against myself too strongly or for too long. A doctor advised me not to let a good body go to waste so I try to be sensible.
Several times most days I recall Buddha's admonition to be careful of what I want and how ardently I hold my wants. Staying alive is a good idea. It is also something that people I love, like Dr. Lynn Kirby, want me to do. So, getting out of the way of a truck successfully keeps people important to me happier than getting splattered. Still, I hold a somewhat casual position about continuing to live. I think longevity is a complex mixture of curating my health and the luck of the draw. I guess that means I can take about 65% of the credit for continuing to live.
Reading David Eagleman's Incognito and Chade-Meng Tan's two books and Larry Rosenberg's Breath by Breath while observing how the longer-lived sex, women, do things, I think feeling all my emotions but not feeling them too strongly helps me stay afloat. David, Tan and Larry have joined Prof. Lisa Feldman Barrett in my mind and brought me to conclude that initial feelings and fears can be slid away or modified into friendly tolerable form. Even enjoyable forms quite often. As with many things, feeling good gets easier with practice.
