I read biographical information this morning about Emily Hahn (1905-1997), an American woman. She was a writer and adventurer. From what I read in today's Writer's Almanac, she did a great variety of things. Reading the huge, highly-varied list of activities and accomplishments, I recognized what I take to be a syndrome to avoid in my own life and in my friends.
I often think that one of the best aids I have is the phrase "It's me!" I realize I am an American of this time and place and therefore have learned certain cultural imperatives and habits. But beneath all that, there is a functioning body and mind that is all me. When I switched from an all-male public high school to a teacher's college, I switched from surroundings of one gender to the other. There were a few guys at the college but many guys concentrated on being a manly man of few words. That's ok in its place, but girls are more fun, more receptive, more responsive, at least they were for me there and then.
I met many interesting college women and have had many interesting women students and colleagues since. But, one of the profiles that brings red flags of warning is the person who is too busy. Some people strike me as too busy to say Hello. Why waste time when you can get right to the point?
It turns out that what is a waste of time or any "empty" formality, and what isn't is a rather complex subject. It also turns out that the flavor of life, the general on-going satisfaction level requires a slow enough pace that there is time to notice what is going on, to appreciate beauty and wit and humor and nostalgia. We need enough time to share words, emotions, experiences, all sorts of communication and to do so fully.
If I answer my political party's call for participation while researching my dog's swallowing problem while worrying about the dashboard warning light that keeps flashing in my car while carrying shame about not having read this month's novel, I am probably getting too busy. I have not burdened myself with the goal of getting the most done, nor earning the most money, nor winning the most games. Every now and then, I start to take on a commitment that is just over the top in terms of time demand. I tend to edge toward such an obligation because I feel that it is really, really, important that I get x done by y. That's when I remind myself that "It's me!" I am the one living this life and I am the one who pretty well knows what I think and feel. If I am going to look carefully at myself, my activities, my feelings, my needs, my commitments, it is up to me, me, ME, ME, to do so. As Bob Newhart said, I need to stop mismanaging my time and myself.
