Saturday, April 29, 2017

Being hard of hearing

Being hard of hearing puts a drag on communication.  But today, for the first time, when I said I wasn't wearing my hearing aids, Lynn said,"Good". Some husbands have lots to say, witticisms and all, and the result can be backtalk.  At times, it can be just as well if the backtalk is inaudible.  That arrangement makes for less friction.

I expect that she might ask me to don a blindfold at times although that hasn't happened yet.  Neither has she asked me to vacate the premises but I suppose that could happen, too.

I have heard that some couples get to the point where they merely think back and forth instead of speaking.  We haven't reached that but we are trying.  Making all that air vibrate, hitting the high and low notes is hard work and we want to just be able to inquire about having dinner out without speaking.  Our problem is that we have only limited gestures and facial expressions but a much larger set of ideas.  If I raise my eyebrows in a questioning way, I might be asking about eating out but I might just be wondering if she wants another cup of tea.  

So we need to be able to communicate more precisely and the goal is to be able to do that without being in each other's line of sight.  I saw a video of a man who guided his sailboat out of the harbor by thought alone.  He sat crosslegged on the deck and communicated to the boat's mechanism which way to proceed.  

We find that we disagree on many things, at least initially, so it is important to be able to express details, ask questions, repeat points for emphasis and to joke.  Joking make our days lighter and way more fun but we need to be able to make up words, distort them, omit them from where they are expected to be and pun.  Thought communication would need to be fairly precise to be able to do that.

I am learning to depend on improvement.  No matter what we are engaged in, we tend to get better and more efficient if we keep on doing it.  There is the problem that if I do intuit what she is thinking, fully and accurately, she may sometimes deny that I have been successful just out of concern for the privacy of her mind.  I can see me doing the same thing.  

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