All animals have a drive to reproduce and we are no exception. Frans de Waal makes clear that the other apes generally engage in reproductive activity more openly and more frequently than humans. The chimpanzees have a male-dominated arrangement which means there is much competition to be the #1 guy. The bonobos have a female-dominated arrangement which results in far more use of sexual sensations and stroking and much less aggression.
Much of the current situation in humans seems to be related to English Victorian attitudes, which both British people and American movies and other media helped to spread around the world. But, I heard the boys in Italy want to get a motor scooter so they can travel to Sweden where the girls are more willing while the boys in Sweden want motors scooters to get to Italy where the girls are more willing. I have my doubts that Italy and Sweden were all that affected by the Victorians. My doubts are even stronger in relation to the Victorian influence on the Chinese and Japanese. Blaming shame and blame for our sexual frustrations is nicely presented in "Sex at Dawn" by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá but criticisms of that work are presented in "Sex at Dusk: Lifting the Shiny Wrapping from Sex at Dawn" by Lynn Saxon (here in PDF form).
I wondered about shame and sexual inhibition worldwide but de Waal gave me a different slant. His hypothesis is that our species has been much more successful than either of the other two. We use what de Waal call a "nuclear family" arrangement. Despite sensitivity to the presence of the opposite sex everywhere we meet them, we have a natural tendency toward long term pair bonds. The other species don't have that tendency.
But you can see how it all works out: boys and girls are told they can grow up, marry, have children if they want (while the grandparents often urge them to do so) and engage in any business or trade they find appealing. So, my son and your daughter study accounting or wildlife. Our maturing and schooling schedule manages to allow those two to meet at just the time their hormones and society are pushing them in the strongest way to mate and to marry. To "settle down". But we didn't raise no dummies. The couple wants the bonding and pleasure of sex but no babies yet. Ooops, nature is relentless and one way or another, a baby comes. Meanwhile, co-workers of the opposite gender and the hospital orderly and the postman and her previous employer all continue to display their gender signs and one or the other of our kids may be pulled to start another pair bond.
Sure, we have taught them and nature has taught them and a million years of human evolution has taught them. Unfortunately, some of the teachings conflict with each other. Add in various admonitions, tendencies and projects from schooling and churching, from the media and personal reading. The result can easily be a set of contradictory goals that cannot all be met.
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Bill
Main blog: Fear, Fun and Filoz
Main web site: Kirbyvariety
