C.S.Lewis wrote some good books and one of them is "The Four Loves", which he defines as Friendship, Affection, Eros, and Agape (the love of God for man). He includes a chapter on love between humans and animals.
Eros is the focus of many discussions of love, as though that is the only sort there is. It is the most important in a way, I guess, since it is related to the love that gives us life. However, as one ages, other loves can be as important or more so. In fact, all through life, the love from a parent or elder, from a sibling, for a child can be sustaining and powerful. Many discussions of love put aside uses of the word that relate to inanimates, such as music or a poem or a book.
Buddhist discussions of meditation usually depict movement from awareness of one's mind, to observing one's mind and its passing contents, to awareness of other lives, to compassion for the state of existence, pain and joy that seem to be in others' lives. Once one sees the lives of others and grasps the beauty, heroics, pain, fortitude and balance of them, love and admiration of others tends to follow.
The question of how to love can arise. In the case of eros, nature has provided an easy-to-use avenue for most of us that brings both very strong pleasure and very strong union. But in the case of our children, grandparents, neighbors and many others, erotic pleasures are not appropriate or sometimes even possible. There is steadily accumulating research on the subject of all types of love and how to do them best. I like to keep an eye on scientists who seem level-headed and envelope-stretching at the same time. Prof. Barbara Fredrickson of the U of North Carolina is one of the researchers working on positive emotions and related subjects. She just came out with "Love 2.0: How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do, and Become." She recently summarized some of the high points in this column. I am also interested in "Rewire Your Brain for Love: Creating Vibrant Relationships Using the Science of Mindfulness" by Marsha Lucas.
The question of the best ways to give and receive love remains. Being nice, doing favors, listening with attention, understanding and remembering the statements made by someone you love are basic. Giving the loved one attention, unbidden, is important. I notice that many grandmothers try to have cookies or other goodies at the ready for grandchildren.
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Bill
Main blog: Fear, Fun and Filoz
Main web site: Kirbyvariety
Eros is the focus of many discussions of love, as though that is the only sort there is. It is the most important in a way, I guess, since it is related to the love that gives us life. However, as one ages, other loves can be as important or more so. In fact, all through life, the love from a parent or elder, from a sibling, for a child can be sustaining and powerful. Many discussions of love put aside uses of the word that relate to inanimates, such as music or a poem or a book.
Buddhist discussions of meditation usually depict movement from awareness of one's mind, to observing one's mind and its passing contents, to awareness of other lives, to compassion for the state of existence, pain and joy that seem to be in others' lives. Once one sees the lives of others and grasps the beauty, heroics, pain, fortitude and balance of them, love and admiration of others tends to follow.
The question of how to love can arise. In the case of eros, nature has provided an easy-to-use avenue for most of us that brings both very strong pleasure and very strong union. But in the case of our children, grandparents, neighbors and many others, erotic pleasures are not appropriate or sometimes even possible. There is steadily accumulating research on the subject of all types of love and how to do them best. I like to keep an eye on scientists who seem level-headed and envelope-stretching at the same time. Prof. Barbara Fredrickson of the U of North Carolina is one of the researchers working on positive emotions and related subjects. She just came out with "Love 2.0: How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do, and Become." She recently summarized some of the high points in this column. I am also interested in "Rewire Your Brain for Love: Creating Vibrant Relationships Using the Science of Mindfulness" by Marsha Lucas.
The question of the best ways to give and receive love remains. Being nice, doing favors, listening with attention, understanding and remembering the statements made by someone you love are basic. Giving the loved one attention, unbidden, is important. I notice that many grandmothers try to have cookies or other goodies at the ready for grandchildren.
--
Bill
Main blog: Fear, Fun and Filoz
Main web site: Kirbyvariety
