It is not so much that I am in love with my mind, as it is that I am interested in both its powers and its limitations. When I learn of a likely book, I look up the author to see what I think of that person's credentials and background. Doing so does not lead to perfect decisions but it helps. I learned of "Heal Thy Self" by Saki Santorelli. Seemed worth pursuing but I couldn't find the book in the public or campus libraries and I didn't want to pay the Kindle price. I may wind up doing that anyhow since it is so much easier and faster to copy highlights, make a computer file of likely passages and send comments to Goodreads and Twitter.
The book "Incognito" helps me see that much of what goes on in me including moods, ideas and actions are totally or partially beyond my conscious mind. However, there is a great deal that IS in my mind AND open to what I choose and what I reject. The Quakers sit in quiet, seeing what comes to mind and awaiting messages and inspirations that seem, upon reflection, to be important. Jon Kabat-Zinn and his associates have worked with patients dying of cancer that has exhausted all medical avenues. Saki Santorelli headed up much of that effort.
When his book came, I sat down to read some of it and was struck by the testimony of one of the 10,000 patients they have worked with. He said,"I want to appreciate my life more." Me, too. From my blog of March 29, 2008:
Views from the French bus
Meditation, for me, is all about trying to rest and re-orient my attention. Attending to nothing at all and noticing when I am thinking in order to return to not thinking for a while gives me more awareness of where I have placed my attention.
The situation is best captured by my experience of a bus ride through beautiful French and Italian countryside. I was the leader of the group and responsible for day-to-day upkeep of financial records. The ride provided a chance to get all my records up to date and temporarily relieve my worries about getting behind and failing in my duties. But, the countryside was very beautiful and I would probably not be coming this way again. Much like life, eh?
I could see that I might end the day with balanced books but no experience of the views, the one-time chance to see those places, those scenes.
No matter what, we cannot attend to everything. There is always something going on behind me or in the next town or on the other channel. I am always going to pay "opportunity costs" for choosing this path or that target for my attention. Meditation enables me to feel blank, to notice what I am attending to and to switch or desist if I want.
I was struck by the relevance of that aim to my own life. I do realize that my best way of living is a balanced way: appreciation, sure. But attending to brushing my teeth, wrapping Christmas gifts and exercising, too. When I pay attention, attend, am aware of what I am doing, I can appreciate what there is, and what I am managing to do at the same time.
