When Auntie Mame takes a picture of her beloved husband, he is posed on a mountain side. She wants a slightly different shot and asks him to step back. He does and accidentally falls to his death.
I have been taking a step way back more often lately. I don't want to fall to my death but I find it very helpful to train myself to notice that urges, fears, goals, irritations all come from me. I understand the Buddhist notion that they are all just thoughts but only recently has it sunk it a little more. Only recently have I grasped that what is only a thought might be better modified or deleted. More often I have been feeling a wish or a desire and then quickly thinking "Who is wanting some chocolate?" When I notice that the chocolate drive is coming from my head, I seem to be able to put it in a little perspective.
I can picture a guy who looks like me, is my age, with my tendencies, abruptly realizing how nice a square of chocolate would be. I can picture that guy like me manufacturing a chocolate need, probably from somewhere in his gut or from his picture of high pleasures. I can ask the guy like me if he really wants some chocolate. Can he feel a distinct chocolate deficiency or is he just a victim of a pushy subconscious that isn't really tuned to less sugar and more deliberate eating?
The same approach of stepping back and ask who is feeling, who is wanting, seems like it is helping me make better use of the knowledge of my sources and my impulses. Just like a really strong itch that comes up while I am meditating, I can picture my brain and my nervous system dreaming up itches and little adjustments and a bite of this and a drink of that, all without really thinking or evaluating the appropriateness of those little dreams and notions.
Sometimes, when I take a step back, the tendency that has been dancing in the back of my mind fades quickly, like a shadow that is suddenly in the light. Stepping back can bring about a real change in perspective.
