Why not expect the worst? That way you can’t be disappointed.
One thing I can say for the groaners, the screamers, the fully-engaged attackers, the destroyers: they do make me appreciate what is good. I feel a little sorry for them, since despite the attack mode that seems to be all they know, they seem afraid.
It is a shame when a beautiful woman does a good job in her workout, gets invited to lunch and immediately locks up when a truly wonderful dish is set in front of her. Her body needs food and all of her needs enjoyment. It is clear that marvelous creatures need and flourish with pleasure, respect and love. Yet, if she is too frightened to eat or to enjoy, if she is so fearful for her waistline, or so well trained to fear pleasure, various sorts of sin are operating.
Equally painful is the picture of a man in his prime who is so admired, or so sought, or so loved, that he is stretched too thin with obligations and ambitions. His desire to use his strength and abilities needs a little altering for him to truly apply himself effectively. Unhappily, that means he will be unable to heal all the wounds, grow all the crops and soothe all the souls that need it.
I am not well tuned to Asian, African or South American thinking but I suspect that one way or another, every civilization has some who feel the negatives sharply and suspect that more of them with even sharper pain are on the way. Why not prepare now? Why not expect the minimum, the worst, the nastiest? Even better, allow for limitations of imagination and experience and adjust the mind, the expectations and the fear levels to be set for more pain, more treachery, more darkness. This subject is exactly what “Falling Apart Without Going to Pieces” and “Open to Desire” by Mark Epstein, MD, psychiatrist and meditator, are about.
Cauterizing off the pleasure nerves is indeed one way to go, trying to insulate and isolate one’s self, erecting walls and locks to prevent the germs of hope, light and fun from penetrating. But as one matures, a different strategy is to view the pain as a gift, the disappointment as a sign of limited thinking, as challenges to find other points of view, other zoom levels and perspectives. Let’s not die before we are genuinely called.
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Bill
Main blog: Fear, Fun and Filoz
Main web site: Kirbyvariety
