Understanding leads to sympathy. Once we understand another's situation, we usually find that we can see how we would act, think and feel as that person does, if we were in that situation. Sometimes, it is difficult to understand all the important aspects of another's life. Some of the most challenging or threatening parts may be hidden. The other person may consider them shameful or embarrassing. Some of the hard parts may be so hard that it is frightening or tiring to talk about them.
It is surprising how often some difficulty seems to be the fault of the person experiencing the problem. You know the sort of thing: I wouldn't have gotten a flat tire if I had paid more attention to debris in the road. I wouldn't have gotten scammed if I were a more alert person.
You can see the strategy: if the difficulty is my fault, maybe I can stay more alert, try harder and avoid difficulties in the future. On the other hand, if difficulties are rained down indiscriminately on the just and the unjust equally, there is no hope of avoiding them. Better to take a little blame and maybe gain some hope.
There is another side to putting myself in another's shoes, though. It is a side that only the Baltimore poet, Ogden Nash, has made clear. Yes, I can see that except for the grace of God, I could be that homeless wretch. However, it seems equally true that except for the grace of God, that wretch might be Lady Gaga or the governor of Michigan. Furthermore, but for the grace of God, I might be more handsome and quite a bit richer.
