Two friends of ours died recently. I wasn't around at either death. Neither was a close friend and I doubt that either had any reason to think of me during the last few hours before dying. I haven't seen what I thought was the last moment of life in anyone but I was near my mother and my daughter in the last hours. Neither seemed in any condition to do much thinking or communicating at that time. It was very clear that parts of them had already left or become inoperable a bit before a physician would have pronounced them gone.
It seems to me that just as we might try to put our affairs in order to be ready to die, we might try to put our relationships in order, too. I have been interested in doing so for quite a while. There were times when my mother and I were together and we knew we might not see each other again. We tried telling each other anything we could think of that we wanted to be sure the other had heard, such as our love, gratitude and pleasure in their company.
Just as our money accounts have to be updated regularly, so with our relationship accounts. They change, new issues arise, new interpretations and insights get a place in the queue and need to be shaped and delivered. It can seem odd if you have said "Good-bye" because you might feel that you have said all there is to say and that no further talk or writing will fit. But that feeling soon passes and you find that you have some further things you want to talk about.
Even saying Good-bye more than once can work out just fine. After a while, there are certain things one keeps realizing about another, things that bear emphasizing and repeating. Knowing that you have said Good-bye and that you want to stay current in expressing your love, and feelings and appreciation, you can repeatedly check to see if you have expressed the important things recently. Seems like a good practice in any relation with someone you care about.
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Bill
Main blog: Fear, Fun and Filoz
Main web site: Kirbyvariety
