Anniversary of our deceased daughter's birth

Our younger daughter suffered mental illness for 20 years.  She died in 2008,  Here is a link to the web page that Lynn wrote about her and her life.

https://sites.google.com/view/kirbyvariety1/jill-kirby-1963-2008

Being part woman

We both had our DNA done, twice by the now closed-down National Geographic's Genographic Project and twice by 23andMe.  I also read "The 10,000 Year Explosion" about the human diaspora putting us all over the planet.  From where??  Shhh, don't tell anyone.  We all came from Africa!  We only got this pinkish-orange skin because at more extreme latitudes, that dark skin couldn't absorb sunlight components needed.

Another amazing fact: my mother, my grandparents - half of the batch were women!! It goes way back!

Go ahead.  Read "The Female Brain" by Louann Brizendine, MD.  You recognize some valuable traits, some of which you may have noticed in yourself even if you are heavy on testosterone.

Truthfully, some of the sentences in this post are questionable.  But go ahead and watch "The 6 Triple 8" and see what women can do.

I don't have a January birthday

We had two daughters but one died.  She had a long period of mental illness and strong hallucinations before her death.  It is a hard thing for parents and siblings to experience such a death.  Poor thinking led me to substitute myself for her as the person who was born on January 17.  The truth is my birthday is not January 17. 

Information by the truck, no, ship, load

My wife was told by her father that she couldn't train for boxing or science.  Girls can be secretaries, nurses or teachers.  She had other interests and resented those limits.  Please understand that was 157 years ago and things have changed.  I don't say it is easy for girls to be physicians or private detectives or shoemakers but I am confident it is getting a little easier.  

It is easy in the complex, imaginative world of today to discover that principles get modified or even over-thrown.  Many people didn't realize that chunks, mountains, continents of "information" are part of our world.  They always have been, of course, but we didn't recognize them for a long time.  In some cases, we still don't.  It is no use getting into too much detail when the details are endless and quite intertwined, often in what appears to be tight, discouraging knots.  

My wife, probably much like yours, provides meals for everybody in the house, clean clothes for everybody in the house, birthday gifts for the birthdays but not for the days that aren't.  She created web pages, taught librarianship, became a pottery member of a local artists co-op, kept a flow of ceramic creations into four outlets while serving her household.  You might think that shiploads of information would be too much for her but they aren't.  She is a WOMAN!  I realize that is an unfair advantage but it's not her fault.

Consequences again

Chains of influence and consequence

Saturday, November 30, 2013

http://fearfunandfiloz.blogspot.com/2013/11/chains-of-influence-and-consequence.html

I am interested in chains of consequence in our lives.  I  could have inherited notable musical skill if my genetics included genes of the right type from that famous composer, What'sHisName.  I would have genes from ol' What's if my greatgreatgreatgreat grandfather hadn't spilled the glass of red wine on that date when he went out with What'sHerName.  But he did, she was angry and humiliated the rest of the trip, their engagement was deleted and they went their separate ways.  They didn't plan to put the kibosh on my violin-playing but it was kiboshed even so.

There are so many small, sometimes unnoticed, events that influenced who got born, who survived, who managed to have children, who managed to survive,  I like to think about any couple: how did they meet?  What did they do that struck a good note?  Did their parents object to that possible partner's background, religion, occupation, personality?  Did the objections cause a flight or help to cement the relationship?

A friend told me that a woman ancestor of hers was engaged when she boarded a ship to the US but that when she disembarked, she was engaged to a different man.  Life is chancey!

CNN Photos of the week

https://www.cnn.com/2025/01/09/world/gallery/photos-this-week-january-2-january-9

What was that show?

Two days ago, I spent some effort trying to remember or search out what tv program I was remembering.  A scene kept coming to mind: a devious older woman with a gun in her hand sitting dejectedly in front of a younger man dead on the floor.  The woman's daughter enters the room and takes in the scene as the mother says in her heavy accent: "It was accident!"

After much thinking, trying to remember, I got it.  No wonder I was having trouble.  The scene was part of a show that we watched all episodes of - Jane, the Virgin.  The basic story of the show has little to do with a room in a swank hotel with a corpse.  Jane is the child of a single mother.   As a young woman, she has determined to avoid motherhood until she is married and has support.  The story is based on a successful tv series ifrom South America.

Jane goes for a gynecological exam.  The woman physician is under stress and enters the wrong room with semen at the ready and impregnates Jane, who is all prepared for an exam, not this!  She doesn't realize what has happened until a few months later.

"You own this item"

I have many Kindle ebooks.  They have many advantages over paper books, although some friends fully disagree.  I have enough that often, I would say, at least ten times, I look at an ebook that seems interesting but I don't buy it since the information about the book includes the statement "You own this item".   Sure enough, when I look in my collection, that book is already there.

Sanaz Meshkinpour

I enjoy looking up the names of authors attached to interesting news reports and articles.  I usually look at CNN news (now divided into AM and PM), Google News and NPR news.  Today, I saw an article about getting more bodily movement into one's life in NPR news.  There were three authors listed and the last of the three was "Sanaz Meshkinpour".  

I read that she was born in Iran to Jewish and Arab parents, that she holds degrees from several American universities and that she is mentioned on many web sites, including one bearing her name.  For no big reason, I think it is a good sign if a writer or reporter has their own website, even though many that do probably have somebody else to create and manage it for them.

Repeating: Reading & Listening

Even today, with smartphones and all, bound paper books have a strong connection to schools and education.  Books are a traditionally quiet tool while music isn't.  I am interested in the difference that seems to naturally arise between looking at words in books and Kindle and listening to music in the matter of repetition.  In many cases, people are not interested in re-reading a book but they are interested in listening to a favorite song or piece of music again.  The hard to get book, "On Repeat" by Princeton professor Judith Margulis and the C.S. Lewis book "Experiment in Literary Criticism".  Lewis asserts that those who are truly literary will easily read a good book over again.

Magic is too unlimited

We watched all the episodes of "The Bureau of Magical Things" on Netflix.  It's an older kid's show and we aren't kids but Lynn put up with a half hour of spells and walls that let a human walk through them.  I just mainly wanted to see what the story was.  

We spend time with my reading aloud and Lynn doing a jigsaw puzzle.  I started "Hate Mail" and thought it was ok.  I got us started on my reading the book aloud and we finished it, from teacher directed "teams of 2" around 5th grade to mid-20's.  I was looking for an equally lightweight possible book and we got into "Witches Get Stuff Done " by Molly Harper.

At my age, many things seem magical, that is, reliable, but not understood.  It seems to me that magic stories can relate events and feelings, like romance, but they tend to give overly wide permission for an overly wide range of abilities and events and powers. 

Duplicate names

Years ago, I read in some forgotten reference volume in the campus library, that my family name "Kirby" was the 511th most common last name in the US.  Today, I saw similar figures, in the 500's.  This subject came up in articles about the Tyler Perry movie "The 6 Triple 8" about difficulties in getting news to and from US soldiers in Europe during WWII.  The 6888 Battalion of Black US women soldiers were given the task of sorting 17 million pieces of backed-up mail to US troops and their loved ones at home.

The white, disdainful general visits their operation and is told about the problems the hard-working women encounter: poor, indecipherable writing; incomplete addresses and what is now called Googlegangers (different people with the same name).  I read the other day that 7,500 US soldiers were all named "John Smith"! 

I have had the experience of dealing with an official who clearly uses my ZIP code, birthdate, and other characteristics to identify me. 

CNN Photos of the Week 1/5/25

https://www.cnn.com/2025/01/02/world/gallery/photos-this-week-december-26-january-2

Again, have your DNA done

From January 16, 2023

We have had our DNA analyzed by the National Geographic Society's  Genographic Project and by 23andMe.  I have found it very interesting but I may not think about it typically. I think some people think of relatives and wonder if they have kings or nobles in the family tree.  Sometimes, DNA can seem frightening since it might show that your real parents are unknown and you were adopted secretly.  
It can be shocking to realize that earthly life is all related so that is why I sometimes say I am descended from blue-green algae and cockroaches.  If that turns out to be utterly wrong, I will take refuge in what I can remember of the official analysis results.  They didn't contain anything special or upsetting.  Northern-ish ancestors who emerged from Africa, slowly journeyed around the eastern end of the Mediterranean Sea, made their way west to the Atlantic coast, traveled north up to what is now Norway, came down along the same coast, leaving people in the British Isles, Ireland and Spain.  
I have been more interested in the overall directions and groups than in whether I am descended from Genghis Khan.  I read

 The Seven Daughters of Eve - Sykes

The 10,000 Year Explosion - Cochran and Harpending

She Has Her Mother's Smile - Zimmer

The Invisible History of the Human Race - Kenneally
People's natural assumptions about biology are sometimes far off.  I read a sobering article a while back by a Native American woman pointing out that the understanding that Americans had of genetics caused them to create rules for tribal membership and benefits that assumed a mother and a father contribute half of the genes each.  That assumption means that she needs to be cautious of marrying if she wants her children to be tribal members since the fraction gets halved over and over and she and her guy might produce a child who doesn't qualify for membership.
Many other problems and puzzles have emerged over the idea of inheritance.  It has been natural for humans to assume that if I am good at reading, my children will be, too.  Maybe and maybe not.  Skills, training and abilities are tricky.

APD (auditory processing disorder)

I was surprised when I asked an audiologist why I don't understand my wife when she speaks but I do understand when she repeats what she said.  It can be tiresome for her when every utterance gets "What did you say?"  The hearing specialist said that the part of my brain that transforms incoming sounds into meaningful statements is wearing out. 

I wrote this here in November 2023:

My audiologist told me that the part of my brain that decodes speech into meaning is wearing out.  The result is that when my wife speaks to me, I have trouble knowing what she said.  So, I have to ask what she said.  Invariably, when she repeats herself, I understand.  This has been going on for a couple of years and it is wearing on her.  She still loves me and likes me but my listening is poor.  I have found if I can catch part of what she says and just ask about a detail or two, it strikes her much less negatively.  I need to look up the matter in Google and also have a short sitdown with the audiologist.

I don't think the condition has gotten much worse since then.  I have found that my condition is a common one and that various search results say there is no cure. 

I find I am behind

I was the drum sergeant in my high school drum and bugle corp.  I heard rousing military music there.  I had some little Golden records as a kid, including Bizet and Mozart.  I knew I liked classical music before I knew it was called "classical".  When I took a date to a dance at my high school or attended a dance at college, I didn't pay much attention to the music.

The most forceful reminder that I haven't paid attention to popular music comes when I look up some search term on Duckduckgo or Google and find that the words are also the name of a popular music group. References to the group far outnumber the explanations and references to what I am after.

Two accidental events lately have focused my attention on my ignorance of popular music.  Lynn mentioned that she wanted to watch "South Pacific" again.  Because of her interest, I perked up to a reference to the show, followed up and "There's Nothing Like a Dame" was playing all of a sudden. I knew I had heard that song before and I was immediately taken by it again.

"There are no books like a dame, and nothing looks like a dame…"

"There's not a thing wrong with any man here,

 that can't be cured by putting him near a female, feminine sort of a dame."

t.ly/VpXV6

Similarly, Lynn stumbled across a recording of Joni Mitchell singing "Both Sides Now".  I knew I had heard her sing that before but I hadn't paid attention to the lyrics.  How philosophical! What poetry!

t.ly/O_L8A

New layout of main blog page

I started "Fear, Fun and Filoz" thinking I would write some ideas that might help undergrads and teachers.  I like having an "archive" listing of previous posts.  I had no idea when I started that I would write daily most days and continue for 17 years.  When I am trying to see something about those years, the collection of blog posts is a valuable resource since all the pages can be searched at once.  

It is very easy and quick to change the layout of the blog page but over time, a blogger can make small changes.  The result can be a tailored layout that isn't easy to get back to exactly.

https://fearfunandfiloz.blogspot.com/

New layout of main blog page

I started "Fear, Fun and Filoz" thinking I would write some ideas that might help undergrads and teachers.  I like having an "archive" listing of previous posts.  I had no idea when I started that I would write daily most days and continue for 17 years.  When I am trying to see something about those years, the collection of blog posts is a valuable resource since all the pages can be searched at once.  

It is very easy and quick to change the layout of the blog page but over time, a blogger can make small changes.  The result can be a tailored layout that isn't easy to get back to exactly.