I haven't been a lady but I think it is more ladylike in most people's opinion not to hate. I think guys are usually permitted to strongly dislike and offer to fight. There was a time when I could be slapped in the face with a glove and challenged to meet the slapper at dawn with my sword or pistol. According to the movies I have seen, I would suffer a severe drop in popularity if I declined and told the slapper to slap somebody else.
A hospital employee told me recently that in an effort to stay happy in marriage, she had read "How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids" by Jancee Dunn. I have a strong habit of looking up books that friends and others mention, especially if a particular book is said to be good and helpful. When I look up a book, I look for the Kindle edition if there is one. I love the quick download thru the atmosphere without computers, smartphone or other connection. It is like a cellphone call but delivers a book instead of a voice. This book was a bit above my price range but I saw a book, free for Kindle Prime subscribers called "How Not to Be an A-hole Husband and Lose Your Wife". I got it and read half of it.
I often find used books in paper at a much reduced price. I ordered the Jancee Dunn book and I am reading it.
I have been married to the same woman for more than sixty years. She is smart, very smart and all the other things a wife should be. I am lucky and I know it. Later, on a walk, I asked her how useless I had been when we first had kids. She laughed heartily and then asked if I remembered the time she asked me to estimate how many hours I had free each week.
She was home with the kids while I bravely drove around the city to another section and taught an entire class of 5th grade elementary kids every working day. I had papers to mark and lessons to plan. I considered and estimated and found I had about 54 hours a week free. She did the same and found about 8 hours free.
We are in our 80's now and have greatgrandchildren (a word I like spell that way). I think we are rather happy with each other and glad we are together. I could rattle off various defensive statements but in general, it seems nature is rather tough on mothers, despite their endurance, approachability and intelligence.
