We are listening to Parker Palmer on the Sounds True audio discs An Undivided Life. I enjoyed parts of his books The Courage to Teach and Let Your Life Speak, which is a small book and one of the most accurate and helpful individual psychology books I have read.
I used to wonder at my wife’s steady interest in discovering who she was. I assured her that I could tell her but she ignored me, not for the only time. Then, as we have grown older together, I found that once again, damnit, she is on the right track. It is not only a sensitive and inquisitive emotional person like her who benefits from repeatedly reading or thinking about spiritual and psychological matters. A hard-headed realist like me also needs re-immersion. It’s like a picket fence, I guess. A new coat of paint protects the interior from weathering, bugs and rot.
I have lots of respect for Palmer and his thoughts and writing. I have read his books and attended a live presentation by him at Buffalo Books in Montello, WI., courtesy of Dr. Sue Slick. But I don’t usually feel that my life is wrongly divided or fractured so I wasn’t sure I would get much from An Undivided Life. But he is paying off.
Palmer has had difficulties with finding the right path for himself. Even in high school, he was cool and good-looking. He was popular and had a following among the others. He was elected class president. All the while he could tell that he was playing a role, one that lead to popularity and a kind of success but not to satisfaction. He was divided between the way he really wanted to act and feel and what he did for the sake of appearances.
Later, he suffered three deep bouts of depression. He has not found a magic spell or potion to stop depression but heavy use of the Buddhist idea that EVERYTHING CHANGES has helped. His discussion reminded me of The Mindful Way Through Depression by William et al. Three British psychologists and Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn. In both, taking thought that leads to seeing one’s feelings at a little distance is often the first step.
Thinking that Everything Changes is thinking that my current pain, despondency, etc. is something other than me. It is not me. It is a state of my mind and that state will change. That slight objectification of my thought is an enormous tool. A little space between me and my thoughts, between me and my feelings gives me a chance to see what they are, to ask myself if I like them and their direction. Then, if I don’t like what I see, I can begin work on a change.
