Saturday, November 27, 2010

"Girls with Grandmother Faces" by Frances Weaver

A friend just told me that she was having a good time in life.  She said she was following the book "Girls with Grandmother Faces" by Frances Weaver.  Weaver was also the author of a book Lynn found inspiring years ago, "I'm Not as Old as I Used to Be".  Her statement and the book reminds me of my own reaction to older women, say, over 60.  Some of those women I know don't approve of the wrinkles on their faces nor the fat on their bodies.  But it is very clear to a male interested in the many attractions of women that they are, indeed, still girls inside.  Their body language, the enthusiasm in conversation, their tenderness - all point to very feminine souls.

I'm sure that much of my reaction to those women and anything else is related to the times I grew up in.  That is part of their charm.  The women my age behave in ways that I learned to consider appropriate.  Yet, I see in their eyes and hear in their voices grace, delicacy and liveliness that is quite attractive.  In the movie, "Chocolat" there are three older ladies, one of whom is Leslie Caron, who also starred in "American in Paris" and "Father Goose" and many other films.  I admired Caron's apparent personality years ago in those movies but I know that an older woman knows about triumph and pain, love and loss in a way that a physically ripe 25-year old can't.

I am a grandfather and even a great-grandfather.  You don't reach that state without being a young man and a middle-aged man.  As such, you have plenty of time to learn how lovely women are.  I have lots of friends who are women and they caution me about over-romanticizing the female sex.  I take the precaution seriously but I still see kindness and grace and loving generosity in grandmother faces I meet. 

Because women, like men, are shaped by the opposite sex, they naturally pay attention to all aspects of their appearance.  Being good-looking seems to me to be more valuable for a woman than a man, although I imagine it can be a burden for anyone.  Because of a lifelong focus on appearance and maybe even some sort of hard-wiring, older women seem to be very aware of the difference between their bodies and faces and those they once had.  However, since I am long past the time of mate-seeking and baby-making, the knowledge, humanity, and innate value of older women gives them the highest regard in my mind.

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