I try not to. It's basically the story of toast all over again. It is delicious slathered with 50% butter but then it's slippery. So, I drop it. Naturlich, it lands butter-side down. I try to be careful. I realize I won't be lucky enough to have avoided droplets and splashlets of butter in the vicinity. To be careful, I need to turn on the light. To avoid getting butter on the light switch, I cleverly use my elbow to turn on the lights. Less cleverly, I touch my buttery fingers against the red sweatshirt I am wearing. Does it make a stain? Yes, it does.
Turns out we are out of stain spray. Such incidents sprinkle themselves throughout my day. I doubt that the incident rate is much higher in my life than the average. It may also be that my resulting emotions are no more explosive than average. I am a student of Zen, Confucius, Buddha and Jesus. I try to be kind to myself and accepting of my construction in the image of the Almighty.
I know quite a few bad words that don't call on the Lord or bring up his name or that of his relatves. I realize that calling for sexual intercourse after staining my shirt is illogical and doesn't really help things. I have read that expletives and rage just train me to use them more. I try to allow for confirmation bias and recall that yesterday went well. The doc has warned me about the tooth and jaw damage from clenching my teeth. Why not take a deep breath, drive to the store and get some stain spray? Maybe pick up a new shirt, too. See? I am all calmed down and smiley.
