I don't know what I am doing. But that is ok, because I can't. I never do and I never have. Sometimes, I have a clear idea of what I am doing but that is only an idea. The reality is more extensive and I can't hold all the details. I never have.
Several books have helped me understand that I am limited. First, is "Incognito" by Eagleman, a young neuroscientist. He wrote helpfully that our minds tend to give us the idea that we know what we are doing, that we are aware of what we are doing and when and why. Truth is, we don't, we aren't, and we actually can't. Second is "The 10,000 Year Explosion" by Corcoran and Harpending. Humans go back a long way, depending on what you count as human. Even conservative definitions show a trail a million or so years long. But the last 10,000 years include writing and agriculture instead of roaming around looking for food. Of course, they also include electricity, medicine and science. Third is the book by Yuval Harari "Sapiens", a helpful look at where we are and how we got here.
It is an old insight that we humans have developed talk and we often use talk to good advantage. I try to explain to you what I am doing and thinking and you explain back what seems to be lacking in my statement, what is murky, what seems contradictory or unwise and such. At first, I just assume you are a bit thick or overly critical or nervous. Over time, I continue to mull over the ideas and issues you raise. Your criticisms and my mulling sharpen my ideas and bring them into better and more useful form. Thanks!
