Friday, May 8, 2009

How can we say good-bye?

Maybe Shakespeare had it wrong.  Parting may not be such sweet sorrow but just sorrowful sorrow. 
 
I have been thinking of trying to say how much people I have been posting to mean to me.  There are nearly 4 dozen names and the lengths of relations go from my sister being born and my being in 6th grade in the early 1950’s to this past February.  College, 4 decades here in Stevens Point.
 
I have heard of people wishing they had told a loved one that they loved them before that person departed.   When my mother was alive but quite elderly and limited in vision, hearing and thinking, I lived in Wisconsin while she lived close to my sister in Texas.  I wanted to be sure we had said that we loved each other and we did.  I felt good about that.
 
I really love my wife and she is the center of my life.  We married when we were still in college and that was years ago.  Since I love her deeply, I thought I would try to compose a statement of good-bye to her, stating what she means to me.  It scared the bejeezus out of her when she looked at it.   Admittedly, it is scary to bring up the subject of not being there for each other any more, with anyone who means a lot to you. So, I am not sure if and how saying good-bye can be done.  But it may be worthwhile trying to avoid sharp regrets.  On the other hand, the people you love probably know it and may not need anything more explicit.
 
I looked at the list of people I have been mailing to and realized there are a wide variety of ages, places, personalities and memories.  Saying anything meaningful would have to be done individually.  At the top of the list was Bob, whom I have known since my freshman year.  I thought I would get started and called him.  Naturally, I interrupted a meeting.   He called me back and I told him I wanted to say I loved him.  He laughed and said he loved me, too.  I didn’t tell him I love his wife, too, but I do.  I know he loves mine because he told me so and asked me to write more about her.  He likes to hear about her.   When I think of the man’s good sense, compassion, balance, and ability to read people, I’m glad I said something.
 
He told me he had himself just said good-bye to a friend who died recently afterward and was glad he had the chance. 
 
 

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