I like the story that Rumi, the 13th century poet, born in Afghanistan, tells about being haunted, mesmerized, bewitched by distracting thoughts of a certain woman. He says that eventually he was so burdened by those thoughts that he went to her stall in the marketplace to beg her to stop pestering him.
If he had the experience I think he had, asking her to avoid pestering him would not help. You know what can happen in cases like that. Seeing her, looking at her speak, watching her reaction to his plea probably inflamed him all the more. Even wearing traditional female covering of those times and that place, her voice, her posture and way of gesturing and moving, her skin and eyes - all that femininity still reached out and hypnotized all over again.
Whether it is a man charmed by a woman or a woman charmed by a man, nature, biology, chemistry - those forces create such a net that the poor stricken creature gets all bound up, captured even. This sort of charm can befall a victim without the delightful charmer having any idea of its occurrence. The special hypnotic fog/scent/vibe/ultrasound can make its way into a heart and soul without being intentionally launched nor welcomed in.
Sometimes, it is said or implied that a thigh or a bicep is responsible and that if we didn't see certain things, we would be immune and better protected against entrapment. But nature and procreation drives have so many tools and so many avenues into the heart, that it is difficult to get real protection. It does seem that aging can produce a little better armour, a little better antidote. Maybe a person gets used to being stung and learns to ignore the problem a little more efficiently.
