Writing this blog is an extension of meditation. It is an activity aimed at paying attention to what is going on. I realize that I have aged a little bit since I typed the word "Writing" at the beginning of this post. I realize that the moment I wrote that word is gone forever and will not, cannot, return. I am not trying to stop time, but I do want to try to savor the good moments and not just bolt them down without noticing their beauty and their unique flavors. Even fears and pains can be experienced as special opportunities.
I am an old man, already beginning to experience "extraordinary longevity" while an increasing number of other people are doing the same thing. So, my memory may be different from when I was young. It is possible that my ability to remember isn't as good as it was, but I know that it is common practice to ask people what they had for dinner last night to show that it is not easy to remember events, themes, comments unless they are a threat or some special achievement like a winning lottery ticket.
When I was asked by a professional hypnotist what I wanted to achieve by the experience of being hypnotized, I said I wanted new eyes, an ability to see myself, others and my life anew, for the new experience it always is. I didn't want to just toss each day into the bin marked "Just another one." Writing daily has changed my habits and added an automatic search for themes that could be used in that day's post.
I am surprised at how easily I can think of a topic, consider it a bit, realize it is a contender and then be unable to recall it 30 minutes later. I am working on getting a few words for each idea written down before I forget them. The themes of interest are often ideas that don't easily connect to rocks, furniture or hard and fast objects. I don't blame myself when a good-sounding idea slips away and I can't retrieve it. Lynn is reading "The Splendid and the Vile" by Larson about WWII and I am reading aloud "A Distant Mirror" by Tuchman about the 1300's in Europe. These history books make me realize that when I learned about history, it can seem to be the only way things could have turned out even though people at the time were rightly worried that worse turns awaited. That "history can seem inevitable" was one theme I have been writing down and considering. It is a somewhat slippery idea.
