Many stories are about a woman and man liking each other deeply while one seeks a rather permanent union and the other doesn't. You can guess which is which but that can vary. I, for one, know that as a graduating college senior about to take on my first teaching job as a 5th grade teacher, I was eager to launch a longtime relationship. To me, being a teacher or a welder or a tool and die maker was fine and valuable, but didn't hold a candle to being a husband and father.
The pleasures of sex matter a great deal but the union of a man and woman and the opportunity to be a parent is where real life is found. On our campus, there were far more women students than men students. I ascribe that to the low expectations for money-making as a public school teacher but at the time, I actually didn't think about salary. In some ways, that was overly naive of me but in other ways, it was pretty smart. Nothing has ever seemed as fundamental, as existence-affirming as having a household with a good woman and trying to be a good parent.
The women on our campus had strong rules to follow about when to be in the dorm for the night, how to sign out for a date and related protection issues. Such a situation can and today often is labeled "suppression" but to me, is a sign of the deep value of the females. That their bodies and impulses and timing mechanisms and circuits could create a living human being, a mixture of me and her was way beyond the value of a fat salary.
Like many things in life, protecting while at the same time, nurturing and supporting a young woman's development and a young couple's journey into effective parenting is tricky. Much like individual differences in reading, social success, sports and physical maturity, there are important differences between one individual and another. Becoming a successful marriage and a parent is filled with pauses, errors, doubts and confusion interspersed with joys that reach to Heaven. When you think about it, being a husband and a father is like being invited to the very best sort of party just because of who you happen to be.
