I realize it is unAmerican. I know it hurts the economy. I am deeply ashamed and trying as hard as I can. But I really don't need anything. The waitress asks,"Is there anything else I can bring you?" You bet there is: a pet parrot, a yoga mat, the latest thriller. None of those are on the table. But I admit that I don't want them. I certainly don't need them.
It is a little embarrassing in this day and age to be short, old, somewhat impecunious, and yet to be without needs. I don't know if you have ever been without needs but it somewhat shameful. We don't have a video doorbell, we don't have a tv that covers the living and yet despite those lacks, we really don't need them. Friends advise us to simply drop pretense and admit, deep down, we do have needs. But. Scouts honor and I hope to die, we are needless.
Check back with us in a month. Maybe by then, we will have joined the ranks of the righteous and have genuine needs. If you find some leftover needs around, send them my way so I can recover my self respect and rightful place.
