In personal projects such as exercising or losing weight or maybe practicing attention training, I often see how people sabotage themselves by trying too hard. I have a poorly supported theory that a nation of immigrants have a tendency toward trying hard and then harder. I realize that Ecclesiastes (9:10) says whatever I put my hand to, I should try with all my might. Maybe there is a cultural force, something social that we imbibe as children, that success only comes from effort, hard effort, teeth-gritting effort.
The usual way of trying "with all my might" calls for me to exert maximum muscular effort. That can translate into also setting a high goal, something challenging. I often read that we get what we ask for, try for, demand, and if we want good success, we need to aim high. But I often observe this sequence
I try doing X and I don't let myself just dab my toe in the effort. No, sir, I jump in whole heartily.
Later that day, or the following day or the day after that, I am a bit sick or stiff or both.
Just what I expected! Do I let myself off? I certainly do not!!!
I jump in with even more heart.
Later that day, or the following day or the day after that, I am sicker or stiffer or both-er.
You can probably see where this leads. Don't just picture the pain or chagrin, the shame, the embarrassment. Also, consider a likely internal conclusion: "I wasn't cut out for this. It is part of the grand plan of the universe that I should not achieve this goal."
Reaching such an internal conclusion can create a very strong inclination to listen to the pain and stop trying.
There is a fearful adolescent inside our heads. This person fears success and expects to fail at anything important. If that disastrously ambitious person can be sidelined, or sent on a tour of the Outer Hebrides or some place, a different sequence that can used.
Dip my toe in speed walking or fasting or whatever.
Toast my toe-dipping effort.
Tomorrow, dip two toes.
Again, suppress the urge to go faster, to calculate how long before I will conquer. Instead, toast the progress I am making. Savor that progress, Baby, and look forward to tomorrow's more toes and more dipping.
Keep building slowly but steadily.
Moral: start small, stay small and win.
