Not from her. From me. She is terrific but me? That's a different story. This meditation stuff and getting to know myself more fully is not so hot. I am now sufficiently aware that I can see right through me. Piggish, childish, short-tempered, judgmental: how did I ever get connected to this guy, anyhow? The slightest disappointment or interruption, the slightest obstacle to my plans and Bang! Petulance, impatience, selfishness - I can't stand it! I can't go on! I need a break! Where can I find a new self? I am looking for someone who is more patient and understanding, who realizes the world does not center on him.
Many data companies are talking about transparency these days. They want me to know what data they collect and what they do with it. I want to know what data about me and why. I want to know why I remember some trivial or marginal facts and images, but I have trouble remembering what I did with my keys. I don't seem to collect data about what I did last week while I have accurate information about a book I read in my teens, all those years ago.
It has not been a picnic to read and grasp what is in the book "Incognito". I am beginning to face that fact that I don't really know the whole me or where some of my opinions and desires come from. I didn't decide to like kale. I didn't order a hankering for Ghirardelli filled dark chocolates. I didn't even decide to like women instead of men. What's with me, anyhow? Who arranged all this stuff?
