In one of the brain books I have been reading, the author discusses basic inner programs that run in us. He makes the statement that we cannot be attracted to a frog. He probably thought of that sort of statement because of the connection in our old tales of magic and spells between kissing a frog and having it instantly change into a handsome prince. The prince was the victim of a mean old witch who cast a spell on him.
Scientists know that humans have an extraordinarily long childhood and they used to think that we lack instincts and pre-arranged programs. We must learn everything as children. However, attraction to a member of the opposite sex is just one of the nearly instantaneous processes that go on in us when we are ripe for them. This is from Eagleman, again:
Take babbling. Deaf children babble in the same way that hearing children do, and children in different countries sound similar even though they are exposed to radically different languages. So the initial babbling is inherited as a preprogrammed trait in humans. Another example of preprogramming is the so-called mind-reading system—this is the collection of mechanisms by which we use the direction and movement of other people's eyes to infer what they want, know, and believe. For example, if someone abruptly looks over your left shoulder, you'll immediately suppose there is something interesting going on behind you.
Eagleman, David. Incognito: The Secret Lives of the Brain (p. 84). Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
We don't follow our programs until we are ripe for them. We might not all get ripe and ready after the same amount of time, depending on our genes, our personality, our diet and the happenstances of our individual lives. I wasn't conceived until my parents' bodies were ready, willing and able. I wasn't born, talking, physically mature, a parent, capable of carrying responsibility, be a full citizen, educated, aware of myself, retired until I was ripe for that step. I won't die until I am ripe for death. I am surprised by the look of my life when it is viewed through the lens of ripeness, of things happening when all the factors needed are properly set. I get the feeling that it is not random and much of it proceeds in steps I know little or nothing of.
