Saturday, May 28, 2016

Toward The Light

Humor and inspiration published weekly (or whenever the editor feels like it) Fare: $ Priceless

Books by the editor: Life of the Eagle

The Short Happy Life of Davey Monroe


author unknown

(Editor’s note: This essay was written about 15

years ago. We haven’t changed.)

You may have missed this in the rush of other

news, but there was a report that someone in

Pakistan had actually published an offer of a reward

to anyone who killed an American—any American.

In response, an Australian dentist wrote the

following to let everyone know what an American

is so they would know when they found one.

“An American is English, or French, or Italian,

Irish, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian, or Greek.

An American may also be Canadian, Mexican,

African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Australian,

Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani, or Afghan. An

American may also be a Cherokee, Osage,

Blackfoot, Navaho, Apache or one of the many other

tribes known as native Americans.

“An American is Christian, or he could be

Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim. In fact, there are

more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The

only difference is that in America, they are free to

worship as each of them chooses. An American is

also free to believe in no religion. For that, he will

answer only to God, not to the government, or to

armed thugs claiming to speak for the government

and for God.

“An American is from the most prosperous land

in the history of the world. The root of that

prosperity can be found in the Declaration of

Independence, which recognizes the God-given

right of each man and woman to the pursuit of


“An American is generous. Americans have

helped out just about every other nation in the

world in their time of need. When Afghanistan was

overrun by the Soviet army years ago, America

came with arms and supplies to enable the people

to win back their country. As of the morning of

September 11, 2001, America had given more than

any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan.

“Americans welcome the best—the best

products, the best books, the best music, the best

food, the best athletes. But they also welcome the

Richard L. Evans, 704 Country Club Court, Morehead City, NC 28557 © copyright 2016 R.L. Evans all rights reserved

“The national symbol of America, The Statue of

Liberty, welcomes your tired and your poor, the

wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the

homeless, tempest-tossed. These, in fact, are the

people who built America. Some of them were

working in the Twin Towers the morning of

September 11, earning a better life for their families.

I’ve been told that the World Trade Center victims

were from at least thirty other countries, cultures

and first languages—including those that aided and

abetted the terrorists.

“So you can try to kill an American if you must.

Hitler did. So did General Tojo, and Stalin, and

Mao, and every blood thirsty tyrant in the history

of the world. But in doing so, you would be just

killing yourself, because Americans are not a

particular people from a particular place. They are

the embodiment of the human spirit and freedom.

Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is

an American.”

Birthdays this week: Hank Williams, Jr. (67),

Stevie Nicks (68), Gladys Knight (72), Henry

Kissinger (93), Louis Gossett, Jr. (80), Carol Baker

(85), Rudy Giuliani (72), Lisa Kudrow (53),

Wynonna Judd (52), Clint Eastwood (86), Brooke

Shields (51), Colin Ferrell (40), Pat Boone (82),

Morgan Freeman (79) and Clint Walker (89).

(Editor’s note: Warning! You might want to stop

reading here.)

Two vultures boarded a plane, each carrying two

dead raccoons. The attendant said to them, “Sorry,

boys but only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

Two boll weevils grew up in the South. One went

to Hollywood and became a star. The other stayed

behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to

much. He became known as the lesser of two weevils.

Two Eskimos were sitting in a kayak and got

very cold (what else?), They decided to build a fire

in the boat to keep warm. The fire soon burned the

boat to the waterline. Thus proving you can’t have

your kayak and heat it, too.

(Editor’s note: Had enough? I tried to warn you.

Maybe you’ll pay attention next time.)

Toward the Light is published and distributed without charge by the Editor:

Richard Evans, editor and publisher of Toward the Light, has given me permission to include his recent issue here.  You can see it in the PDF original format on this web page:

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