I am listening to "What the Buddha Felt" by Mark Epstein, who is a psychiatrist and a practitioner of Buddhist meditation. He was just saying that many Americans get the idea that it is higher Buddhist practice to squeeze closed one's emotions, that one ought to free oneself from emotions. I suspect this is attractive to many men since they often have trouble feeling their emotions or recognizing that they are in the grip of one emotion or another.
I am often impressed by the emotional range and speed of a mother who coos to her upset baby while snapping at her husband. I see women placate a disturbed child with higher pitched voices that I can reach while alternating loving comments with growls and snarls directed at a husband they are arguing with. I have never witnessed an error where the mother snarls at the baby and coos at Hubby.
Since fear is "unmanly" and is indeed debilitating for seeing clearly and engaging in battle, fear and sorrow and many other emotions can often be shoved aside by men. Too much shoving aside and it can be difficult to get the full range of emotions back. But without emotions, life can very drab and dull. A full range of emotions makes for a richer and more enjoyable life if they can be experienced without too much upset.
Epstein was just describing the Dalai Lama in several days of presentations in New York. As he was explaining the nasty experiences of many Tibetans, especially Buddhists at the hands of the Chinese, he burst into tears. It impressed Epstein that the Dalai Lama would take a few minutes to openly cry during his presentations. As Kate Mulgrew found when working with Stella Adler, the acting coach and teacher, a person can be enriched by the experiences in life, including the dark and yucky ones, if he or she can sit with those experiences, can observe them and feel them completely.
If I am deeply upset and cannot see clearly because of tears nor speak clearly because of sobbing, I may have to pause or excuse myself. But I may ask you to try to ignore tears and sniffles as I recall and explain the painful suffering I saw a loved one experience. Maybe neither of us need be too embarrassed by strong and meaningful emotion.
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Bill
Main blog: Fear, Fun and Filoz
Main web site: Kirbyvariety
