We have a window decoration that says "Kindness makes love". I am pretty sure that is true but I think it can be more helpful to say that "answering makes love" or "response makes love".
It seems rather well accepted everywhere that it is ok to greet someone. There are restrained greetings, such as nodding or ducking the head when first entering someone's presence. When I am out for a walk and find I am approaching someone else, it can be tricky to decide at what point we are close enough to exchange greetings. If I say "Good morning" or the more laconic "Morning" when my fellow walker is too far away, the greeting seems awkward. I like to do it at just the right time and if I succeed, the other person, known to me or new, usually greets me back. It is the rare person who greets me with more words than I used to greet them.
Of course, I am not thrilled to hear a minute history of the other walker's weekend but I do find that we both seem to feel good after even a brief but successful exchange. There is a point in Dr. Eric Berne's "What Do You Say After You Say "Hello""? in which he says that a successful exchange of greetings is good for one's spine. Having read that, I often feel a jolt of health squirt up my spine as I say "Good morning."
I admit that it takes a bit of fortitude to give a clear, friendly greeting and have the greetee look straight at me and pass by without saying a word. Since I myself wear hearing aids, I am aware of the possibility that my target didn't hear me at all. I don't like to repeat my greeting even louder and more distinctly. When I get no response or a gruff "What's good about it?" or something less inviting and polite, I just go on my way, bearing the slight as lightly as I can.
One of the advantages of writing this blog to about 100 recipients is that I have a chance to strike someone in the group with an interest in some sort of response. Your chatty and open person may respond with a short description of a lovely gift received or a comment on the book that was occupying their attention. Some people need permission to change topics or introduce new ones and some people don't. Often the person with a new topic seems to feel it is polite to offer their topic or that it is clearly so magnetic that it is a service to introduce it to others.
There have been many times when a friend just wants to make some contact. Some people call or email just to say Hi and some don't. There are many times when someone includes quiet apologies for the ordinariness of their thoughts while at the same time, sparking a whole day of research and exploration in me. Someone writes "I was just thinking of making myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich" and I am off! I haven't had one in a while and it is a good idea. Who first thought of that combination? Are most people like me and prefer toasted bread or am I in the distinct minority?
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Bill
Main blog: Fear, Fun and Filoz
Main web site: Kirbyvariety
