I have read that without modern communication and transportation, we humans might be in close contact with somewhere around 150 people. I guess there are ideas floating around that that number is about how many we can remember and be reasonably close to. I am not all that sure what "being close to" actually means. It can certainly be those we know by name, those we feel an internal brightening when we see. I am confident that being in the same room, being close enough to speak to someone is not the only measure these days.
There are people that I feel close to that I have never seen or been in the physical presence of. I saw friends from decades back at my 50th college reunion and that contact renewed some contacts on a fairly frequent basis that take place electronically. Google is just one of several companies that offer ways to chat quickly using only printed letters on a screen or to hear each other's voices with some fidelity or to see each other on the screen. I have taught distance education, where the student sees me live on a tv or sees my image on a tape or reads web pages Lynn or I wrote and emails me reactions to or homework. But we have never been near each other physically.
Of course, there may be secretaries or receptionists or phone operators with whom I could have regular contact over years but never meet. I am intrigued by the movie "Her" where we see the main character get closer and closer to the very intelligent and highly developed operating system of his new computer. The first story in the collection "I, Robot", copyright 1950, shows a very believable picture of a child who feels closer and friendlier towards her robot nanny than to her rather cold and distant mother. So far, there are no robots listed in my contacts but that may change.
In C.S. Lewis's "The Four Loves", all of which are human (friendship being first, followed by affection, eros and agape) prefaces chapters on them with a chapter on animal-human friendships. I have had several occasions to see that Lewis was smart to leave a place for dogs, cats, horses and no doubt other friendships between humans and others. I got plenty from listening to Frans de Waal discuss his years of experience working with and observing apes, some of whom recognize him personally after 20 years of separation.
I thought that face to face friendship might be enhanced with expert software. The author Susan Cain and others have books and TED talks about introversion and its strengths but maybe prompting software could whisper in my ear buds good conversational beginners. I did check the iPad app store but didn't find anything yet. I do realize that the last thing we need is yet another reason to look at our phones in the presence of others instead of their faces and eyes.
Seeing and hearing friends is an extremely great pleasure and a very lasting one, too. I have just begun listening to Justin Satterfield's Great Course on mind-body medicine. He says that 40% of premature deaths come from behavior, including social behavior, and smoking and drugs. He also said that someone has classed "social and behavioral medicine" as the antibiotics of the 21st century. Antibiotics followed public health measures such as water treatment plants as allowing longer life at better quality of life. Much of human behavior relates to others and being friendly, is a skill that can be developed and improved.
