I am trying to remember to be gentle.
About a month ago, I bought a small refrigerator for our basement that wouldn't fit in my car. It would nearly fit and seemed as though it would if I pushed and shoved and banged on the carton a little. It was frustratingly close to fitting but I didn't think rearranging the geometry and maybe the functioning of the just-purchased machine was a good idea. So, I asked my wife to drive over with the van. She was not far away and cheerfully agreed to do so.
I waited on the parking lot with the large carton sitting beside me. A middle-aged woman, stopped and asked if I needed help. I explained that I was waiting for my wife to come as I didn't think I could force the carton into the car without damage. She smiled and said,"It's hard for men."
I was surprised by the remark but it was not at all the first time that it has seemed to me that force and stronger force comes naturally, even pleasantly, to male minds as a tool. Since this lady clearly thought similarly and said so in a natural, everyday voice, it seemed to be a thought that she felt comfortable with.
I watched a nature video on tv showing several male whales vying to see which of them would mate with a waiting female. There was lots of whale-sized pushes and shoves, body checks, blocking one another's path, crashing into each other. After the winner and the female were together, all four or five males did a sort of reconciliation dance with each other, a soothing of hard-feelings type of thing, according to the narrator. I was struck by the similarity of the reconciliation to the combat. Both seemed aggressive and forceful.
If you watch two happy football players facing each other, jumping into the air and smacking their chests together, you will see almost exactly the same body moves as the whales made. Wrestlers, hockey players, lacrosse players can enjoy the experience of giving another a good solid hit and sometimes, receiving one.
My physical therapist gives me an exercise and my basic tendency is to make the movement too rigorously. I do that without trying, just naturally. She calls it "going ballistic" and she advises me to move more gently and slowly. I think her phrase is overblown and am confident that trying harder or trying as hard as I can would be far more "ballistic" than what I do. But that is not the point. Whether it is stirring batter or accelerating the car or carry something heavy up the stairs, I am interested in consciously being a little bit gentle.
--
Bill
Main blog: Fear, Fun and Filoz
Main web site: Kirbyvariety
About a month ago, I bought a small refrigerator for our basement that wouldn't fit in my car. It would nearly fit and seemed as though it would if I pushed and shoved and banged on the carton a little. It was frustratingly close to fitting but I didn't think rearranging the geometry and maybe the functioning of the just-purchased machine was a good idea. So, I asked my wife to drive over with the van. She was not far away and cheerfully agreed to do so.
I waited on the parking lot with the large carton sitting beside me. A middle-aged woman, stopped and asked if I needed help. I explained that I was waiting for my wife to come as I didn't think I could force the carton into the car without damage. She smiled and said,"It's hard for men."
I was surprised by the remark but it was not at all the first time that it has seemed to me that force and stronger force comes naturally, even pleasantly, to male minds as a tool. Since this lady clearly thought similarly and said so in a natural, everyday voice, it seemed to be a thought that she felt comfortable with.
I watched a nature video on tv showing several male whales vying to see which of them would mate with a waiting female. There was lots of whale-sized pushes and shoves, body checks, blocking one another's path, crashing into each other. After the winner and the female were together, all four or five males did a sort of reconciliation dance with each other, a soothing of hard-feelings type of thing, according to the narrator. I was struck by the similarity of the reconciliation to the combat. Both seemed aggressive and forceful.
If you watch two happy football players facing each other, jumping into the air and smacking their chests together, you will see almost exactly the same body moves as the whales made. Wrestlers, hockey players, lacrosse players can enjoy the experience of giving another a good solid hit and sometimes, receiving one.
My physical therapist gives me an exercise and my basic tendency is to make the movement too rigorously. I do that without trying, just naturally. She calls it "going ballistic" and she advises me to move more gently and slowly. I think her phrase is overblown and am confident that trying harder or trying as hard as I can would be far more "ballistic" than what I do. But that is not the point. Whether it is stirring batter or accelerating the car or carry something heavy up the stairs, I am interested in consciously being a little bit gentle.
--
Bill
Main blog: Fear, Fun and Filoz
Main web site: Kirbyvariety
