A while ago, a friend told me not to knock shame and guilt. "Shame and guilt are what keep me going." This is a mature and very well-educated man. He knows a great deal about acceptance, about living with gratitude for the many gifts we each have in our lives. He may not have meant his remark very seriously but it does touch on a question that pops up for me. If I am grateful and content, why bother? Whybother with dressing, breathing, paying my bills and taxes?
Not keeping on keeping on may result in punishment, pain or death and I understand that. But when I feel accepting of pain and death, maybe I need not keep on.
One answer to why bother may be that others depend on me or can be made happier and better off in part by my efforts. So, I should keep trying if I want to help them. However, I see all the time that helping people is not a simple task. What I do to help may worsen their lives. There usually are some things I can do that I am pretty sure are indeed helpful. Those I am trying to help thank me or tell me I am being helpful. It is possible that we are both deluded or mistaken but when I think I'm helping and they think I am, that's pretty good confirmation.
But my friend's answer is not so bad. In the opening of his "A Short History of Nearly Everything", Bill Bryson explains what a miracle each of us is. Just the cumulative efforts of all the previous contributors to my DNA, my ancestors, is by itself a gigantic achievement. It would literally be a shameful waste to not preserve my body, my mind and my contributions to others. If I just wasted myself, I would be guilty of dropping the ball in the great game of enjoying life and outwitting the germs looking for ways to consume me.
For some reason, another answer holds power for me. It is simply "Why not?" Why not cook another meal? In fact, while I'm at it, why not put my mind to the task and cook a better meal, a more delicious one, a novel one? I happen to have a brain that gets charged up by a challenge. Endless acceptance doesn't usually seem that challenging but trying to surprise, please, out-do, economize, invent do seem interesting and engaging.
Why bother? I can. I don't have anything better to do. I can bring pleasure (sometimes) to others and inspiration. Why not do so?
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Bill
Main blog: Fear, Fun and Filoz
Main web site: Kirbyvariety
