retire from retirement

I have decided to retire from retirement.  I can't stand the pressure.  When I had a regular job, I had a schedule.  I had obligations I felt were fun and important to meet.  Now, each day is a new slate.  That means I have an opportunity to take up something new.  I also have to watch that I don't take up too many new things or overschedule myself.  I have to check my calendar all the time since, with an irregular schedule, I don't know what is next or what I have already agreed to.

Our older crowd is excellent at conversation, at enjoying life.  We want to get together.  How about dinner?  Oops, they're busy.  How about lunch?  Sorry, we can't because we are busy.  Breakfast, lunch and dinner are easily scheduled for social get-togethers.  But we can't eat enough meals to meet with all of our friends and relatives.

When you are retired, you have choices.  That can be a burden.  Do I have anything up today?  Do I want anything up today?  Should I call in sick and simply not go to the latest lecture, the latest show, the latest brilliant presentation?

I have wanted to really learn a foreign language.  I have studied a couple in school but when I travel, I can't understand a thing.  If I manage to get out a question in a comprehensible way, I can't understand the answer.  Italian! French! Japanese! Finnish!  I have been retired for 5 years and made no progress with any of them.

I am going to get a job just to flee from the guilt and pressure.