For two days in a row, I have tried something new: meditating first thing out of bed in the morning. There have been many days lately when we were too busy to arrange our usual after-lunch session. I don't like to have too many days when I don't meditate. I have long used the practice of doing only a short time meditating but I don't think completely skipping on too many days is wise.
I find that mornings tend to be a time when too many items crowd my mind. Whatever I am doing, other items that also need to be done come up impatiently. This time, I noticed a strong feeling of smooth activity, things done as they should be but not hurried or desparate in any way. I am pretty skeptical about judging things using only my impression as evidence, but it seemed that five minutes of concentration on a focus made a genuine difference. I felt my mind and my conscious self were in unusual harmony.
So, I spend another five minutes with the timer on my iPad again this morning. Both days, I was surprised that my mind was so energetic and kept giving me other subjects to think about. I found myself engaged in a story or internal conversation repeatedly. I am always been a morning sort of person and been fully and enthusiastically awake right off.
The usual advice for meditation is to focus on a target, one's breath or a visual anchor, and to return to that target when one notices the mind has gotten engaged in some story or worry or thought. This morning, after about a quarter century of meditative practice, I realized something new. Each time I go off into la-la land or fretsville, noticing is indeed a golden moment of mind training, but the next moment after that of dismissing the suggested topic and returning to steady awareness is practice in letting go of something. So, when my old dog dies or my pick-up breaks down, when the revenuers are closing in on my still and the bank forecloses on the farm, I am practicing relegating worries to the back burner in place of just being aware. I am training myself in controlling my worries. Cool!
