My cousin and I have known each other since early childhood. She wants to be more positive but finds she has a natural drift toward being negative and thinking negatively. I think most of us have such a tendency, a gift from evolution. Being aware of dangers, possible mishaps, failures and disappointments, being forewarned and prepared makes life easier and safer.
You can see the effect of our basic wiring toward the negative if you try to sell content, copy or magazines that are all positive. At first that sounds like just what we need but then, in the grand scheme of things, in the rush of the day and the deluges of messages, invitations, deals, offers and one-time-only-exciting sales, the positive gets sidelined. It doesn't need immediate attention and it loses out more and more over time.
What can be done? If you are aware of being negative, you are pretty far along already. I say,"Recognize the negative. Maybe even make a note that the end is coming, supplies are running low or whatever the negative message is." You can ponder it and cross-examine it and question it and check its credentials and credibility later. But once you realize that you are looking at the dark side, you have a choice. You can put the spotlight of your attention on something positive. If you are new to such work, you may have to search. Often gratitude for something you recognize as wonderful or fortunate or pleasurable will do the job. Generally, it is good practice to try to find beauty or affection or thoughtfulness that you admire, something right in the current moment.
If taking an explicit step to the positive feels fake or too goody-goody, you can just sit with the negative for a while. Often, it helps to observe the negative from a little distance. That is when you can interrogate the negative as to its believability, its supporting evidence and how up-to-date the idea is.
Barbara Ehrenreich's book "Bright-sided: How positive thinking is undermining America" is quite good and it is eye-opening. I expected to hear language that left me in doubt as to whether being positive and upbeat if possible was really so silly and/or nasty. However, Ehrenreich is a sharp observer and an excellent wordsmith. She nails it. I am surprised at what can be considered "positive thinking" and how out of whack it can get. I think the limits of attention and knowledge make clear that any idea is only an abstraction. Listening to her book makes me willing to continue slipping over to the positive side whenever I see an easy path there.
