Sometimes, I don't get want I want. I know what I want, and that is not what happens. I am not feeling happy but I want to. I don't have enough money and I wish I had more. I can have a great time, watch a fine show, eat a wonderful meal. They were so good, I want the next time, the next show, the next meal to be that good but they aren't.
I am reading "Advice Not Given" by Dr. Mark Epstein. I like his books and many other people have commented on how helpful his writing can be. He writes here about people trying meditation:
Wanting to do it for the right amount of time, wanting to make the tension disappear, and wanting to have the next meditation be as good as the last one all represented different versions of it. My patients' wishes to "do it right" reminded me of how I felt...
Epstein, Mark. Advice Not Given: A Guide to Getting Over Yourself (pp. 37-38). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
I found a while back that physical pain could sometimes be stopped if I sat or lay still and fully concentrated on the pain.
https://fearfunandfiloz.blogspot.com/2013/04/focusing-right-in-on-pain.html
Similarly, when I find I am hoping and wishing that things were better and more like what I want, or think I want, I can similarly notice I am wishful, or fidgety or antsy. Many advisors warn against running away, against resistance. So, sometimes I experiment with the opposite: I try to be more wishful, more fidgety, or even antsier than I am. When I do it right, I get a message from myself that says: "Are you nuts? You are already wishful and you want to be more so? Whatsa matter you?" Internal forces contract the wishfulness and usher it out.
