We are sometimes said to be living during a fight for eyeballs. That's not as gruesome as it sounds. The point is that people are clamoring for our attention. Just like "Look! Mommy, look!". I like to say that I am not clamoring for your attention but I am not kidding anyone. I want you to read my blog, I want you to tell your partner and your neighbor about the great good you get from reading my stuff.
I taught statistics on statewide tv for nearly 20 years and I know that it matters if the teacher knows your name. I often say to those teaching online and at a distance, that a phone call to a student having difficulty has lots of power to inspire and to calm. When you hear the teacher's voice and you know you are getting a direct call right to you, it matters. Much like it matters in class when the teacher speaks to you directly and everybody can see that you are the focus of the teacher's attention. Especially if the teacher refers to a remark you made in the previous class or in a paper or email, that reference can stick with the student for years.
I am a big admirer of Karen Maezen Miller, a Zen teacher and the author of Momma Zen, Hand Wash Cold, and Paradise in Plain Sight. I had a chance to talk with Maezen while she waited in the hospital for a friend's recovery from surgery. This is a modern, up-to-date hospital and those waiting get one of those smart plastic disks like restaurants use to tell you your table is ready. Waiting for anesthetic to wear off and the nurse to decide your patient is sufficiently awake to benefit from a bit of conversation can be a bit dull. The smart disks here give a little message every hour, reminding you that your waiting is appreciated and telling you to please continue.
Maezen is a specialist in seeing what actually is and she saw that the same message appeared at the same time after each hour. The impersonal and repetitious nature of the electronic activity did little to energize her. She doesn't need energizing but her reaction reminded me of the value of human attention.
As a distance educator overseeing large classes, I realized that even a small bit of genuine attention, an appreciative comment or a class statement that a given student's insight or question had been inspiring can be very motivating and strengthening. There is an old idea, especially in all male situations such as coaching a team of men or training soldiers that being tough, even mean and demeaning, elevates the efforts and brings better results. I read research by the Air Force and by the Dutch army showing that kindness and respect resulted in better tenacity and spirit during tough times.
