Generally, if we are going to talk to each other, it is nice if there is a quiet place where we can sit down facing each other. We want to be close to each other, we don't want interference or distractions. We don't want eavesdroppers or people who intrude with comments, wisecracks or ads for local businesses. So, look at that:
Quiet area
Sit down comfortably
Face each other
Close to each other
No interference
No distractions
No eavesdroppers
No commenters
That is already eight qualifications. Rather many features we request. We expect to meet all the qualifications rather easily and we have had many talks already where all the needs were met. But nothing in the specifications says anything about the state of the talkers. Naturally, if we envision more than 2 people in the talking, things get more complicated.
One of the things I have been thinking about in the matter of communication is length of a statement or message. Typically, when you begin speaking, I expect you to deliver a sentence or two and then stop speaking. At that time, I will say a sentence or two and stop. We will alternate, inviting the other to make comments, maybe in response and maybe on a new topic. But if you are an expert in our topic, you may want to make an extensive statement. Who knows how long you will want to talk? Or, you may forego favorable relations with such an ignoramus as me and simply say that statements by you are inadequate to make clear all the relevant information. You may extend your message to me by pointing to a stack of books that any sensible person needs to have read before further discussion with you. If you want to go wild with your demands, you might specify you want to talk further only with someone who has a degree in the subject or only with someone who has worked in the field for ten years or more.
More likely, you will just go on and on, as you warm to your subject. If you are a woman, you have the sensitivity advantage of perceiving my increasing discomfort and fatigue. If you are a long winded guy, you may be surprised when I stomp out the door, abandoning our nice talk, or simply faint from hunger and thirst. It is going to be difficult for us to take up our conversation later. I will imagine a repeat and resist. You may see that I am truly interested in your ideas and knowledge and find a way to tease out the most important things to say to me. Maybe you will write a short quiz that I can pass to qualify for a return to talking with you.
Of course, I may expire before anything gets resumed. Then, you'll be sorry!
