I realized that I get impatient with some speakers. They seem too slow, too reluctant to say what the hell they are trying to say. Then, with a little nudge from Buddhist practice, I asked myself Who is impatient? And, I threw in the additional question, Why? No surprise: It's moi! And why? Because I, I, I decided the communication was too slow.
I am not the greatest at loving and showing appreciation. I decided this arbitrary impatience should be worked on. I do believe that virtually anything can be improved. The idea is to put my attention on a specific sort of improvement and work at it. Practice! And while doing, also take a look at what the internet in general has to say about it, and what Amazon can download to my Kindle and what is waiting on YouTube to help me. Amazon showed me "Patience" by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin. Nice little book. Each page or two is a short piece on an idea of patience.
One of the first pages was about the present. I took to the idea right off. When I am feeling impatient, I can simply drop the feeling, shelve it for now,and visit The Present Moment. Right now, this instant. I have read "The Power of Now" by Tolle and his "Stillness Speaks". I understand that a big chunk of my thoughts have to do with the future: later, tomorrow, when I grow up, etc. I have practiced letting go of imaginations of the future and sitting happily in the present. It is fun and also refreshing to just sit there, breathing the air of Now.
Rabbi Pliskin and others have made it clear that my picture of any part of the future is only a picture, not reality. I have some good pictures of the past and of the future but I don't need to take them too seriously.
Meanwhile, my broadband has been slowing down. More and more, I find that I click on a link and get the message that I am not connected to the internet. But I am and I know I am. It is my local connection that is slow or missing or otherwise occupied. Ha! Heaven-sent opportunities to be patient. Random moments of patience lessons just for me. I don't feel really called on to make some contributions to my internet provider above and beyond the healthy bill I pay each month. But I think I should actually call the local office and thank them for the way they are slowing down my service, giving me good chances to pay attention to heaven-sent opportunities to redirect energy from impatience to patience, to gratitude for the patience lessons. Just as I expected, I am beginning to savor those messages that the server cannot be found, that I am without recourse and need to just continue trying and trying, patiently, happily. I am actually getting better at honestly doing that.
