Friday, March 10, 2017

Friend reveals the "truish" version of what happened

Oh, Bill:( This thought you're having about a combined purpose and usefulness of both sexes together is simply a modern "myth" to try to give some value to all the grumpy and never happy 21st century males. 


Surely you know the real historical truth (documented) that simply doesn't go away just because you want it to:


God made a perfect human in the Garden of Eden. Her name was Eve. She was soft for hugging the trees and animals and children - and smart and emotional and insightful and resourceful so she could enjoy and celebrate and be grateful for every day in The Garden - and every part of each child she bore with God, and educated with such dedication.  She lived in Paradise, without dangers, or enemies of any kind. She had everything she wanted. God was so pleased.


But it was lonely being the only adult with the children. She wanted another woman around so she could be a "friend" to someone, more than just a "companion"........    God saw her heart's desire. So, while she was sleeping, he took two of her ribs so she would remain perfect and balanced. Then he made another woman from Eve's ribs.


But something went terribly wrong! The first rib ended up sticking out of where her vagina was supposed to be - a hard ugly appendage - and the second rib ended up clutched in her fist like a big stick!  Her beautiful flowing hair ended up flowing from all parts of her body! And her gentle softness all got concentrated in her brain, making the rest of her skin and muscles all hard - with everything tending to just stick out.....


Anyway, she was a mess, and definitely just a "manufacturer's second". In this imperfection, God couldn't call her "woman" - so God called her just plain "man".


So different from Eve (and soft in the head) God could see she wouldn't make a very great friend to Eve - so he just made "him" her slave to help out with the kids, gather the fruit, etc. He was so stupid, incompetent and annoying that Eve soon started calling him "A Damn Wierdo" -  "A Damn" for short. 


In an empathetic and compassionate effort to give "him" some usefulness, purpose and happiness (and since he didn't even have a vagina to give birth and Life) she even found a way in her cleverness to cut him in on the "reproduction children" thing - but he couldn't really stand under the gift, and just liked the easy quick parts that "felt good" to his poor deformed body.......


Also, with the soft in the head issues, he could hardly ever follow the rules or obey very well like Eve could.  And he was always just interrupting their day with foolish, unplanned, "stupid" stuff that had no purpose or reason- like picking up small rocks and trying to see how far across Paradise he could hit them with his stick! It drove her crazy because he always wanted her to take time to watch him do this - and all his most meaningless and "random" behaviors - and even wanted her to "praise him" for such nonsense.


It just got worse, because unlike Eve, A Damn easily got bored and restless. One day he inexplicably just walked up to the forbidden apple tree, where the big snake lived quietly, just minding his own business. A Damn knew he wasn't supposed to ever go anywhere near that forbidden tree with its snake, but he was just such a tool.  He disobeyed, walked right up to the sleeping snake, and with his stick began poking and hitting it. 


Of course the snake woke up and bit him, full of poison. Eve, of course, saved him by sucking out the poison - poisoning herself. They were both in pretty rough shape when God, of course, got mad at A Damn for disobeying and endangering the perfect creation, Eve, and threw this "imperfect fool" out of Paradise forever. 


Eve, of course, felt sorry for him and by this time had gotten used to his emotional clumsiness and his whole "Bigfoot" Schtick. In fact, in her awesome generosity and inclusiveness, she had actually made the best of his companionship, and had even become fond of this discontented creature that she knew would simply just get himself killed somehow if he had to live without her. So in her great empathy and compassion, she gathered up the children and went with him out into the great cruel world - where at least he found other "imperfects" to challenge and fight with their sticks and be "better than", etc.


And the rest is history.......




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