A friend and I were talking about homosexuality. We both had many questions that neither of us could answer, questions about how and why and where the desire for a person of the opposite sex or of the same sex or both or neither arises. I looked up a little about the subject and related areas on the web and in Amazon. Later in the day, we had some computer trouble and I realized that there are tons of things about computers that I don't understand and many basic questions I can't answer.
Sometimes, when I really grill myself, I can almost conclude that I can't ultimately answer hardly any question. That conclusion leaves me unsettled and embarrassed. All that reading and all that studying and all those courses and I don't know shinola! Whenever I get the urge to remind myself of the miracles around me, I have a habit of thinking of my body. My fingers, my skeletal and postural muscles, my digestion system, my heart, brain, hormones, etc., etc. are mostly mysteries I carry with me all day and have only foggy notions about.
But the basics of the body are not the only subjects with me all the time that I am more or less in the dark about. I don't think I could pass a basic knowledge test of my own sexuality and how it works, despite the fact that I am a lover and a parent and a grandparent and a greatgrandparent. I use a computer everyday but am pretty foggy about how pressing a key makes a 'B' appear on the monitor, where my stuff gets saved or how the machine does arithmetic. I was the first director of academic computing on my campus. It is not like I have no experience.
We had arranged for a plumber to do some things around the house. That's another whole subject I don't know very well at all, water. Add in electricity, coming into the house and doing all sorts of things. I know the plumber knows and the electrician knows and the computer specialist knows but I don't know. It is frustrating. When am I going to know? That's what I want to know.
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