Saturday, March 9, 2013

Enjoying opponents, rivals and humbuggers

1.    Thank them in your heart for their efforts.  Jesus said, "But now I tell you: love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you", Matthew 5:43-45  "Love your enemies and do good to them; lend and expect nothing back. You will then have a great reward, and you will be children of the Most High God. For he is good to the ungrateful and the wicked." Luke 6:34-36
2.   Say positive things about them once in a while and let them know you are doing so.  Of course, they will immediately suspect a trap or mockery but keep at it.  If you can't think of anything to say that's positive, keep looking for openings and ideas.  Look to their relatives, fans and inspirations.  You may find you have some in common.
3.   Understand their position.  You know you understand their position when you can write it out or say it to their satisfaction.
4.   Be thankful when they outdo you, when they defeat you.  Their energy and insight improve the lives of all of us. Whether it is sports or speeches, beauty, skill, and innovation enrich us all.
5.   Chess, wrestling, debate, courting, flirting, sales and customers - many aspects of life are competitive and the competition does sometimes lead everyone into a better place.  Many of our best activities depend on participants being willing to lose and be defeated.
6.   Respect and trust those who differ: you aren't very different from them.
7.   If there are 10 or more of them, it is a statistical certainty that some among them know things you don't, have had experiences, challenges and insights you haven't and have performed better than you have in some important areas, so they deserve respect, and even discreet and thoughtful imitation

**Note: Humbuggers are those who against everything, including most of what you do and think, no matter what it is.  I had a jr. high teacher who advised us all even then to understand that there are people who will simply and immediately dislike us, for no reason.  "Humbuggers" is Prof. Bernhard's fine word for them and their philosophy.

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