Friday, December 4, 2009

Departed. Left. Gone. Wrong!

It is now a few hours more than a year since our younger daughter died of brain cancer.  We remember the efforts to make her comfortable and to let her realize our love that our family made.  We remember how she lived and how she died.  She was mentally ill for about 20 years before her death and those were the difficult and troubling times.  We never knew what problem would pop up next. 

To me, it sounds rather innocent to be persuaded, however innocently, that one is the head of the main intelligence agency or the lover of a foreign head of state.  Why would that be so bad?  Because if it really is very far from the truth but one believes it to be true, one could make big mistakes.  Some of them will merely put others off but informing the manager of an apartment house that you own the place and he is fired makes the man upset and irritated.  Fantasies aren't true but if a person believes them, that person may make statements, have expectations, and take actions that are inappropriate, illegal or seriously isolating.  Some of the actions will be dangerous.

We are thankful that our daughter is no longer suffering from delusions and the painful belief that she is a high-level executive but unrecognized for her talent and contributions.  We are thankful that we are not afraid day and especially night for her safety and the safety of those she loves.  We are surprised at the total elimination of worries and fears associated with what might happen to her next that death has brought us.

We have lost others before. Parents, cousins, our grandparents were people we loved and love in our minds still, but they too died.  At least, their hearts ceased to beat and they no longer walk around as we do.  But our daughter and others we loved and admire continue to live in our hearts and memories.  We see them in our photos and read letters from them and we remember them.  We think of their lives and adventures.  They live within us now.

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